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My neighbors — you remember them…THE PRICKS are at it again.
I let my dog out this morning for her morning bark’n’pee and she was on full alert barking which means there is school started early and I missed the memo or there is a bird taunting her.
I opened my slider and walked out there waiting for my eyes to adjust and I see her on the top of the hill jumping around as if the circus of dogs were parading past her and she wanted to join. She was SO excited because there was a blacktop full of kids playing basketball and she wanted to go play with them. This was her first summer in our backyard and it’s been nearly 3 months since she has had kids to play with and have come pet her.
I’m about ready to call her name to have her come down because she’s going to have a doggie heart attack if she doesn’t and that is when I see it. THE PRICK next door shooting my dog with the hose!! “TAKE THAT!” he yells.
He is shooting the hose over the fence into my backyard where he is guessing she is. She wasn’t there, she was up further on the hill.
As the water is shooting over the fence I yell, “HALO! come on girl!” and the hose stops instantly. I let her back in the house and I stand up on a resin chair I have in the backyard and I wait for that prick to finish what he’s doing.
He is walking back towards his house and I yell his name. He looks up confused.
I say, “Can you let me know when you’re done working in your backyard?”
He gets the ‘i’msuchaprick’ look on his face and says, “Yeah, i’m about done. WHY?”
I tell him, “I want to know when it’s safe to let my dog back in the yard without her getting shot with the water hose for barking…LIKE DOGS DO! THEY BARK!”
He’s such an ass.
Add to the Susie prayer and pray my neighbors move out of this town…away from me!
and on the bright side of my fence: my phone, it broke in half. like HALF. SNAP. I get my new one today. It has a camera on it. What are the odds of that!!??
32 responses to “exploding not an option.”
Ugh, I am so kicking dude’s ass.
Fo’ real.
I will be back one day and I will hurt a muthaf*cker.
I just got a new phone too. It is my 1st camera phone. I am so totally cool.
It is PINK TOO.
pink? seriously…are you that girly?
neighbors can be SO annoying… you should shot them back with your hose ;)
Oh wait, I better shut up before Shaun informs the whole internet that when he met me I had a cell phone that was baby blue with ducks all over it.
My new one is black. I wonder if the rumors are true?
How rude! I would have stayed out there making the dog bark more and more…right there on their side of the yard.
Here’s hoping they move!
nice, and your dog was in YOUR YARD. jack.
And the odds of your cell phone having a camera? I’d say pretty good!
I’m so thankful to have the neighbors I do. Most of us have dogs, and while no one likes hearing a dog bark, we don’t get our panties in a wad over it. People like him should live in the wilderness . . . with a roaring puma! Let’s hope he finds himself there! Hey, do you suppose that a well-timed group thought might teleport him there?
ME. a camera phone? REALLY? am I allowed to have a camera phone???
the thing is HE HAS YAPPY LITTLE WEINER DOGS! his dogs yap all the damn time! he just doesn’t like my dog. He likes his dogs small and he probably kicks them. he’s a jerk.
I am still praying the Susie prayer.
I think next time your neighbor is noisy in the yard you should do spray his arse with a hose. The scarier thing? I thought the man in the middle of your photo was holding a real gun…sometimes I scare myself!
Girl, we have neighbors from hell, too. It was fine when just the dude moved in. He was quiet and nice. Then, his mother and his sister, the sister’s two hellion boys – around 6 and 10 – and the man that lives with the sister came later. These little f***wads have broken my daughter’s playhouse, broken our fence, torn peaches off our tree, left trash in our yard, etc. etc. I confronted the man who may or may not be the daddy and the oldest boy and got shit for my efforts. Nothing. They still leave trash in our yard, etc. The futility in not being able to do anything about it just burns me up. I can’t go in my backyard without smelling the cigarette smoke of the stupid sister and her live-in. They are always there and always outside smoking. Lovely, lovely people. GRRRR. I feel for you.
what a jerk [your neighbor]
dogs bark…mine for example barked for about 6 straight hours sat night when my neighbors had a party. i wasn’t even invited so i let ’em bark. fuck them.
“My new one is black. I wonder if the rumors are true?”
I nearly peed my pants. Thanks, Kristine. ;-)
I will help kick his ass.
Have you noticed over at Dooce that since she and Jon got camera phones, that the headline now says simply “I take photos every day”.
I’d say that’s because so many of her pictures were looking, well, like they were taken with a phone camera, and not the great one.
You won’t do that to us, would you?
And I hear ya about the neighbor and pets.
We had an old woman who went after Oscar with her hose, while he was on our property and no where near her precious flowerbeds!
When she went into a nursing home, sad to say, but I felt relieved. Our new neighbor is great!
Thinking of Susie all day today.
I don’t think it’s because of the camera phone that she does it. I think it’s about the advertising. It might conflict with it. You know how sometimes on TV they blur out logos? I think it’s kinda like that. I also have a feeling that there might be a Canon in the family now, but they haven’t said anything because of the backlash of ‘omg, i can’t believe you bought that camera when you said…blah blah blah.’
That’s just my thought. People want you to to do well, but they don’t want you to do TOO well.
and no, you will probably NEVER see a camera phone picture because it costs money to send those pictures and … homey don’t play that.
what a bastard. Maybe one of your kids can squirt him with the hose someday!
Yep..it is pink you HAB.
Shut it.
It is a Katana.
You shoulda called the cops for vandalism and assault. What if you were standing out there blowing drying your hair or something and you got electrocuted when he blindly was hosing away ,,,, hey, it could happen. “Take that”, ugh.
What an asshole.
Apparently, my dog was barking too much on Saturday while I was at work and some “neighbor” called and left a message on my machine, without leaving a name and of course had a private number, all about how if I didn’t shut my “F-in’ Yappy Assed dog up” that she was going to call the police. I feel bad that my dog was barking all day, he normally doesn’t. But I swear to GOD when I figure out which neighbor didn’t even have the balls to tell me who it was—I’m going to go off on her pussy ass for being such a passive aggressive pussy.
As for your neighbor – what a fuckwad. I’ll kick his ass next time I’m out too.
You should get a hose and spray him the next time he’s in his backyard. What a dick.
What kind of phone did you get? My razr takes pretty good pics… I was amazed. Now I have to buy the little memory chip to put them on the computer. Seriously doubt I’ll ever get around to that…
Violence to the pricks isn’t the answer. He must learn peace and love and patience. And when he recieves all the religious books, magazines, and face-to-face meeting requests he just got signed up for, he’ll be at peace. Then Halo can play without fear of the hose.
Guys, leave the ‘fear of the hose’ jokes alone.
technically that man cannot squirt water OVER your fence. He can only squirt your dog if it comes onto HIS property. If it becomes a problem, check it out. You will have a case of him “abusing” your dog.
If your dog is barking excessively, then you should consider doing something about it.
All dogs will bark at: A small animal, a strange person in their yard, fast moving objects near-by, or something that frightens them.
I’m with Shaun. It sounds like this guy needs a free book of Mormon.
Man! I am SO glad I live in the country! My dear dog Polly only barks if somebody comes to the gate. If they walk through the gate, she greets them with licks, but if they stay at the gate, she growls. Sort of, if you’re not sure, then I’m not sure either.
Does this mean that you can hose down your neighbour’s dogs when they’re barking too?
hey, yappy little weiner dogs are my favorite…don’t hold it against a sistah ;)….on the other hand…maybe your neighbors are related to my redneck neighbors, shooting the dogs with a hose definately sounds like something papa redneck would do…I got my first camera phone earlier in the year and have yet to really use it, I’m a goober
HOLY SHIT! What a shithead. Poor Halo.
So, how hard did you have to push on your cell phone to get it to snap in half? ;)
Good for you for standing up for yourself and your dog. Although I currently have very good neighbors I absolutely hate the concept of neighbors because you always know sooner or later you’re gonna end up with ones similar to what you are currently dealing with. Wish you would’ve shot him with the hose!
What an asshole.
I would have threatened (in my head) to shoot a hose back at him…but I”m a big weiner so I probably wouldn’t have and I would have just let is fest all day.
Good for you for saying something!
Oh I can totally relate to having nighbors that dont like your dog. We have a german shephard mix who likes to bark and i admit get annoying sometimes, but we are trying to fix it, but like all dogs, he barks. My nieghbor came outside one morning, while i was setting up for my 5 yr olds bday party, and started yelling at me about how awful he is…she made me so upset that day..and the dog only barks during the day, shes not losing any sleep b/c of him. good luck.
One of the benefits of being a recluse within suburbia is being devoid of such matters.
All the best.
Ok, well, I live next door to a man that has SIX beagles. Count them, SIX. You want to talk about barking? One dog is nothing compared to these dogs. Its so bad that the neighbors down the street have called on them. And yes, I have approached him at least 6 or 7 times about what a nuisance they are when he’s not around. I feel its only fair to give him a few chances to correct it himself before I buy the arsenic….just kidding, but I’m close!!!! He’s got a doggie door for them and they come and go as they please….and they like to start at 7am EVERY morning. Until at least 5 or 6 when he comes home, then he makes sure they don’t “bark” what an ass he is. He had until August 1 to get rid of three of them because our city has a limit of 3 dogs per household. Now I know why. My kids can’t even play INSIDE our house without those dogs hearing them bumping around and they start barking. And I’m an animal lover….but I’m sorry that your neighbor was squirting your doggie, b/c that really is uncalled for in your situation.
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