I realized last night that Alyx may look dead on like her father, but her inner workings are just like mine.
I came home to 2 teary eyed little girls. Shea knows the best place to trap me is in the bathroom mid-pee. She has my attention fully as she holds the toilet paper hostage.
“Daddy spends more time with everyone else, but me.”
“What? hand me the toilet paper honey.”
She stepped back a step and raised her ever so dramatic eyebrow. “Ryan only takes Alyx for walks and not me. I’m serewous mom. No one notices me. Dad pays more attention to Kara.”
I convinced her that I will have a long talk with Ryan and Dan about how much time they spend with her. In return she gave me the roll back.
I went into the bedroom to say good night to Alyx only to find her sobbing and Marina trying to make it all better.
“WHOA, what’s wrong Alyx?”
“I WANT YOU AND DADDY TO GET BACK TOGETHER *hick, sob* BUT DON’T WANT SHAUN TO LEAVE!”
“Alyx-sweetie…I’m not that religion.”
I sat with her and listened to all her worries. She was afraid that Dan didn’t have any money and that he would lose his apartment. She was afraid he was going to starve to death. She was afraid that he wasn’t going to have any place to live.”
She was in full anxiety attack mode.
As I stroked her hair, I convinced her that everything was going to be fine. That no matter how big of a house we all had, Daddy would rather drink Liquid Drano than live with me again. I told her that she spends more time with her Daddy than most kids with parents that are still together do. I told her that I promised that if ANYTHING happened that Shaun and I would take care of her Daddy. She needed to hear it from Shaun so we went into the bedroom and she cuddled in his arms and he told her the same things. He said he would always get along with her daddy because he knows how important it is that we all get along. He told her that her daddy was a very special guy because he does so much for us. He lets us borrow his truck, he trusts Shaun with his kids, he fixes stuff (but then it always breaks a week later) and I think Alyx finally felt better after hearing that we had her Daddy’s back.
Today, Marina and Kara got into it and Marina burst into tears.
I hugged her and tried to get to the bottom of it and come to find out, I think she’s missing her mom. It doesn’t matter if I do the best that I can, it comes down to a daughter needing her mommy. I know Shaun does a great job making sure I don’t freak out so much. It’s great that my sister calls to make sure I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth…but sometimes, it doesn’t matter if your 12 or 34, a girl just needs her mommy.
I’m thinking the fix-all for all of this comes down to a few things.
1. The version of my WordPress having SPELL CHECK.
2. Kiddy Xanax.
3. Mommy time.
It’s really that simple. I think the spell check might just fix EVERYTHING though.
If none of that works…I’m thinking WEDDING CAKE might do the trick.
39 responses to “cold feet.”
This sounds like my household on a daily basis.
You are so much better at it than I am.
Those girls are the best and you are the best and Shaun is the best and Tyler well…Tyler is just the real bestest.
Can you mail me some wedding cake?
:)
And if chocolate wedding cake doesn’t work go for wine in the sippy cup
Awwww!
You guys are such awesome parents. Do you think you could adopt me? I’m married and all…but ummm…still. Do you think?? :o)
We still have half of a garage we could convert…of course there is no air conditioning in there. So uh..I would wait to file the adoption papers until fall when it’s not so hot!!
You can get your very own Sippy cup!
Oh boy..yea, it’s all so tough isn’t it?
I remember my step-sons mom use to tell him,.”You don’t have to like your step-mom because I didn’t like mine.” Yea, that was fucking helpful to a teenager. Well, that teenager is now 18 and outta high school so she is all of a sudden super sweet..she wanted support until he was 19 WHILE she charged him rent, WHILE he worked full time.???? Fuck, it never ends.
You adults seem to have a really nice relationship and with all the communication, these kids will be just fine. It’s all about talking it through..
R
as always you amaze me honey….
and yes, tis true… I still need my mommy and I’m nearly middle-aged.
Wedding cake… yum. As long as there’s frosting. Cake is simply the vehicle for frosting delivery. Either that or a spoon :)
Aw. Those poor girls. Hormones raging…life changing events…..poor things.
But I do think cake is the key here. I mean when my hormones are raging cake makes me smile. Let ’em wash it down with some wine coolers or somethin. Just one time.
Kimmy, oh hellllll no. They are going to have a million different influences trying to get them to drink. This is the lame house where we are fun and do cool things and can joke with the kids…but they won’t be drinking here. EVER. They also won’t be kissing boys until they are like 30.
I’m a cool mom, but not THAT cool.
Kristine, you and Shaun….you guys rock as parents. I’m totally serious. Dealing with exes and blended families…that’s something I don’t know if I would ever have the maturity and wisdom to take on! :)
Your whole extended family rocks. They will see…
Cake will help, though.
My house is the lame house where the drinking was of Dr. Pepper and suntea.
Yet there were many mornings when I would get up to go to work and have to peek under the aphgan on the couch to see who was sleeping there because somebody’s stepdad had come home drunk or worse.
Teenagers and hormones and financial support are a difficult mix, even in the best of family systems.
Blended family won’t be easy, but it seems like you have a handle for what to expect.
Talking and accepting their feelings is a great start.
You and Shaun both do a FANTABULOUS job with your kids, the fact that all the kids can go to the “I didnt give birth to you but I love you a bucket load anyways” parent and express their fears I think is just freakin awsome.
Chocolate cake is the univeral fixer uperer!
*HUGS FOR YOU ALL*
Who knew all that sex you were having would end up making you such a responsible parent.
I meant to say “unprotected sex”. Teehee, sorry, I’m just goofy today, no lunch.
Hey, I called you yesterday. Did Kara tell you?
I still say “St. John’s Valium for Children” would’ve been a GREAT product. Not sure why it’s not on the market…
What a cute post, that was so sweet of Shaun to say all those reassuring things to your daughter.
Your title hooked me though, I thought…NO WAY>>>>>>>>>>> she can’t be getting cold feet about that wedding>>>>>>>
I was quite relieved!
I have to disagree. It sounds like that threesome will make it ALL better.
Sorry. I couldn’t resist. That was my favorite part that made me laugh so loud that my husband poked his head in the room.
You and Shaun are awesome. Cake will help, I’m sure. But the loving, caring, wise words from you and Shaun are the medicine that will do the trick.
Just keep being the mom that you are and things will turn out fine.
Your kids are all so damn lucky ! REALLY ! Your post made me tear up & wish you were my mommy ! And yes Cake WILL help…chase w/ alcohol as well ;o)
Hey I have a camera post up…need some input…please help :o)
what religion IS that?
you guys are awesome. Don’t give Shaun and THAT much credit…after Alyx left the room we bad mouthed her dad and giggled about it for an hour or two.
JUST KIDDING
Hey, at least you waited until she left the room! ;)
I love the image of you, like Miss Clavel in the Madeline books, going from room to room with your big mommy heart and your comforting words.
Lucky girls. Lucky family.
Oh man, I’m not sure I want a girl for baby #2. They stress SO much. Wait! Yes I am!
You need the Easy Button from Staples.
I haven’t commented in a while, so today I want to let you know how awesome I think it is that you and Shaun work so hard to get along with the exes and make things easier on the kids. Too many parents use the kids as leverage to “get” to each other, and the kids are the ones hurt most. I just think you guys are terrific.
Love and hugs to you and Shaun and all the kids and your extended family (exes included), dear.
I’m crying after reading this post and can’t figure out why…? (no period…have taken meds…hmmmm…)
Am I crying for you or the girls? Both? Who knows…
Every thing will be O.k. in the end.
Wish you all well :)
tony
http://zingtrial.wordpress.com/
when I was little I remember that every wedding had these pieces of take-home wedding cake wrapped up in a doily and cellophane–to put under your pillow that night. It was always fruitcake–and I HATED fruitcake…I haven’t seen anyone do this in a long time!
What kind of cake did you decide to go with? Chocolate?
Who puts cake under their PILLOW?? Sound messy and wasteful!
(Heaven help me, I am SUCH a MOM.)
It’s supposed to bring good luck to the bride and groom and happy dreams to the person who sleeps on it…and those pieces of cake are so tightly wrapped up in plastic wrap and tin foil–there’s NO chance of crumbs or cake going anywhere!
Those poor babies….
I wish you were my mom, mine would’ve knocked me down a notch or two. “What makes you think you’re so damn special Peggy?”
I absolutely [heart] you.
Just thought you should know.
You guys are such good parents!
I want to marry youboth, but I am not that religion either!! I love when you have posts that make me cry.
Someday when I get married, have children, divorced and then remarried, that’s the kind of step-father I want to be.
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Now that’s a nice website! Thanks!