before you hear it from someone else…

Let’s set the groundwork which I can only set HALF of it because the other half I can’t even talk about yet.

May…has sucked…we clear on this? SUCKED.

So I decide yesterday that I was going to go to the gym and I grabbed ‘Cita and drug her out there with me.
To reward ourselves we decided to get a latte from the casino, because EVERYONE knows that those indian casinos make thee best Starbuck Lattes.
I have 15 bucks. She has 15 bucks. So we park our asses at a .5 cent machine.

I smoke. The casino has a large section for non-smokers. I’m also a smoker that won’t smoke in public because I fear that someone will walk through the smoke and get all weird. I smoke at home. I smoke at the bar with the other smokers and I smoke at the casino. I do not smoke in the non-smoking part of the casino.
If you’re not a smoker and you say, “can you put that out?” I will jump to put my smoke out and then spend the next 20 minutes telling you how sorry I am I smoke. I don’t even care if you are mean to me about asking me to put it out. I PUT IT OUT.

So i’m sitting at this .5 cent machine and this guy starts COUGHING so loudly. I mean, it’s SOOOO obvious what he’s trying to do, but it’s gone from ‘cough cough’ to “hack hack”. I look over at him and he gives me the EVIL EYE and then COUGHS IN MY FACE.

Let me just take a second to remind you, if he would have said a single word about putting out my smoke, I would have JUMPED, but he COUGHED IN MY FACE ON PURPOSE!

I very nicely say, “Sir, there is a whole section of non-smoking right over there.” and I mean, I said it so nicely I could feel sugar forming on the corners of my mouth!

He GROWLS…I use this word not for effect, but to truly describe his tone, “I DON’T WANT TO GO *pregnant pause* OVER THERE.”

I go back to playing…and smoking….and then I start shaking because I am now…what is this? PISSED? Me? ANGRY? yes…

HE THEN COUGHS NON STOP IN MY FACE. “HACK-THE FUCK-HACK!” IN MY FACE. ‘Cita thought for sure he was going to pop something because he was coughing so loudly IN MY FACE. He wasn’t even playing his machine anymore, he was focusing on coughing on me.

And then something in me snapped.

I turned to the man and I said oh so sweetly, “Sir, if you cough on me one more time, I’m going to take this here ciggarette and put it out on your arm.”

There was a sound from behind me, It was ‘Cita’s jaw dropping.

He retorted with, “Good, I’ll sue you.”

and I said something that came from my heart, “I’m not scared.”
I’m not scared anymore.

I’m still going to be one of those people that will ask if my smoke is bothering them and put it out. I’m also the person that will let the old lady go in front of me at the grocery store. I’m also going to the person that doesn’t put up with RUDE ASS PEOPLE.

So if you’re a non smoker and someone is smoking and it’s bothering you…just ask them to put it out. If they don’t put it out, they are rude and they are going to die anyway…and they are going to smell.

If you’re a smoker and someone says in any tone, ‘ick please put it out.’, just do it. You can spark up later.

But if you run into that little bastard from the casino, smoker or non smoker you better do what I did right before I got up from my spot. Take a big ol drag of your smoke and blow that fucker right in his face.

“Kristine, did you just say you would put your smoke out on him?”
“Yes, I did.”
“You know it’s time to get you into anger management, right?”
“Yep.”

I’m pretty sure that smoke is STILL billowing around his head.