Just one day of complete quiet without feeling guilty for it would be heaven.

On my birthday that was all I ever asked for. I just wanted to sit in the bathtub with a People Magazine, some candles, some smell good stuff and just relax.

I watched “Wife Swap” last night. The bottom line of last night’s show was, “You think that the grass is always greener on the other side.” I’m one of those types that knows that it’s astro-turf on the other other side.

I’ve been a girlfriend, a mistress, a wife, a friend. and I know that each one of those has its good sides and its bad sides too. I can’t say I have ever been in a relationship that I was 100% happy in. There was always something there that made me always wonder, ‘what if’.
I guess I am making the choice to not to dwell on the what ifs and just take it one day at time.

My house is always chaos. I’m not use to this on an everyday basis. I like things crazy and fun, but this is like the longest slumber party EVER. I’m working on month 7 of having 7 people in my house.
Shaun said something the other day he said, “You’re use to having three kids. I’m use to having two kids. Neither one of us is use to having 5 kids.”

This isn’t like the Brady Bunch. This is the Osborne’s X 2.

I’ll get use to it. I can’t believe my mom did this for as long as she did. She had 5 kids by the time she was my age. I can’t imagine any of the kids being infants though. Oh god, shoot me!

OH, I had a dream last night that Kathy died. I woke up with tears all over my face. My mom kept telling me that I was the executor of the will and I needed to decide who got what. I walked over to her old dolls and I started crying harder because she told me when I was a little girl that when she died she would give me the cupie dolls. I was SO upset. It’s getting to the point where I don’t want to sleep anymore.