My mom-The Fonz called me awhile ago.
The conversation went something like this.

“I saw your blog!” (I know this. She reads it everyday…rain or shine…hip out or headache, she will read my blog)

“Yeah?” (I’m shoveling food into my mouth)

“What’cha eating?” She asks.

“Chicken.”

“Ooooooh I want some! My lips are watering!” (Yeah mom, I caught that and i’m blogging it!)

“Oh, Do me a favor K?” (Like she has to ask…the woman still gives me money) “Will you get those pictures of me and my gun? Hippo wants to see me with my gun.” (What Hippo wants, Hippo gets apparently)

“I can’t find the disk…” (disappointed sigh from The Fonz) “…but don’t worry, I’ll find it and upload it for you.” (she does this cute excited, “OK!” and you can’t help but smile when she does it)

“Oh, and another thing…” (Dear God, the conversation can go ANYWHERE with that closer.) “I can’t find Cat’s Blog. You need to add it to the list.”

“It’s there mom.”

“Uh, no it’s not.” (She gets sort of cocky sounding when she knows she’s right.) “Hippo, Sissy-Britches…HAHAHHAA….Pissy Britches! I can’t believe you said FUCKFUCKFUCK on her blog! and you have everyone else, but no Cat.”

“Hmmm, you’re right.” (I have her as a toolbar link because Shaun and I check her about 10 times a day) “Okay, well -”

“Yeah, add her please.”

“Yes mother.”

I am my mother’s bitch. I do her blog bidding.

“I can’t play now, I have to go find pictures of my mother with her really big gun.”

****

I called mom to let her know that I added Cat to my list. I read her my blog and she laughed so hard i’m sure it threw her hip out.
I told her that I talked to Hippo on IM today and he asked me if she had ever used her gun to get us to do her bidding. I told him no that she liked cast iron frying pans.
She laughed and the reminded me of a story of chasing the boys with a log when the started complaining about stacking the firewood. She laughed as she said how she threw that wood like a football.
I told her, “Mom, you might want to be a bit more selective of the stories you tell me. “