The last couple of weeks was spent with my mom and sister.  It was nice catching up with them and giving them a glimpse into my life, outside of the blog.  It’s been a few years since they had been with me for more than a few days and on their ground.

I think they might have left my home mentally wrecked and with a whole new appreciation for their quiet house and comfortable beds.

Each had suggestions on how to get a neck hold on the problems of my household.  As they sat and talked, I would flashback into my head of when I had tried what they were suggesting. “Yeah, that worked for a second, tried that about a year ago…see how well that one went?”
“Well, how about…”
“Yeah, tried that too.”
“Did you try…?”
“Yep.”
Then my sister came to the realization that I did about a year ago, “You stop being a bitch for a second and they see that weakness and they just jump on it.”
“Bingo.”
Don’t get me wrong, it was sweet that they wanted to help, but I have gotten to where I am because of the roads & forks I have taken.  I’ve tried nice, I’ve tried bitch, I’ve tried friend, I’ve tried warden.  I’ve come to the realization…I just have to be the mom I have to be or I will end up in a padded room, and there is still a good chance that might happen anyway.

All I can hold on to is that I love my children and step-children and they love me. They aren’t in jail. They aren’t in rehab. They haven’t stole a car or held up a store clerk at gunpoint.  I haven’t gotten a phone call because they were involved in any violent acts or drunk driving.  The little ones haven’t been sent the principle or punched anyone in the face.

I believe they are that way because of how I have raised them thus far.  The successful things and the things I failed at have made them who they are and how they behave.

Do I ask too much of them? Not enough? I’m too easy on them? Way too hard them?  Who the hell knows…it’s up for debate.

I’ll know when I am older and my kids fight over who gets me to live with them,  when they drive 6 hours so they can spend a week with me.
Or who knows, they may smother me while I sleep.

Time will tell.