Yesterday sucked, so how could today get any worse? I can go visit my doctor.
“So what happened?” he asks.
I tell him about how after Thanksgiving I forgot to take an antibiotic and how within 24 hours of not taking the pill, I am right back to where I was before. With a bladder infection.
“No, it’s not an infection.”
*sigh* That’s right. I had ‘that thing that feels EXACTLY like a bladder infection.’
“So you took one antibiotic a night for around 90 days and you missed one and had an ‘episode’?”
I confirm that it was like I was right back to July when this whole thing started.
“Well, I guess that procedure we did…didn’t work.”
This is where I start crying about just wanting to know what it is and for him to just tell me.
“Honestly, we don’t know. But you can’t be on those antibiotics forever, so let’s put you on this NEW pill. It’s usually only prescribed to older men with prostate problems, but it might work for you.”
*blink* thinking to myself, ‘oh my god…i am an 80 year old man…you must get over this and ask him side effects.’
“What are the side effects?”
And this is where I get the shocking news.
“Well, you have really low blood pressure normally and this drug will actually drop your blood pressure even lower. So the first 3 or so pills, you’re going to pass out….”
“Whoa, wait…like, tunnel vision pass out?”
“Yeah. But that will go away after about the 3rd pill. After that for the next three weeks, you’re going to be REALLY dizzy all the time so be careful getting up too fast.”
*blink* What.the.fuck? *blink*
“Can I drive?”
“Well, with your blood pressure the way it is, I wouldn’t advise it.”
—–i can’t drive for THREE weeks? CUT OUT THE FUCKING BLADDER AND KIDNEY THEN!—-
“Oh, and just to be sure we have gotten everything, I am doing a full exam on you. So that procedure we did on you, we are going to try that one more time and be more thorough.”
OH MY GOD. “You’re doing that AGAIN?”
“Yes, this time we are going to test everything and try to onset your condition so we can see what is going on in there when you’re having an ‘episode’. ”
And so I ask…”Anything else?” tears. tears. tears.
“Blood work. I’m running EVERY test we have on you.”
I walked away with pills that will cause me to pass out due to low blood pressure going lower and ELEVEN viles of blood now missing from my body. ELEVEN.
Yes, as a matter of fact my life is a made for television show. It’s called — HOUSE.