Out with it!

Author: randomandodd  |  Category: Random

I haven’t really said much about all the stuff that went down with E and I because I have a saying, “It’s not my story to tell.”  and the things that lead up to where I am now still isn’t my story to tell, but the things that have happened is. I need to tell it because I don’t want to forget and 20 years from now thing, “Oh I wonder if I should give that crazy ass another chance.”  No. I don’t.

It’s been hard on me, because I have loved him for a long time and he has loved me for even longer. To be loved by someone like the way he loved me is intoxicating.  You’re willing to just let all those red flags go.

Well, here it is.  He is caught in some crazy mental loop where it started out that he thought I was cheating on him and then it turned into that he thought I was in p*rn. That turned into me owning my own p*rn site and as of this morning I am involved in some crazy p*rn ring that consists of me with school age kids and then it switched over to me involved in medical stuff. I have no idea where it will go next. Just when I think he can’t get any crazier, he finds new ways to prove me wrong.  He is angry at me for making his mom think he’s crazy.  Uh. No….he’s crazy.

He is convinced that the feds have information on me and my crazy ring of bandits and they are bringing me down…there is no way to hide all the p*rn I have been involved in.  I had to screen shot the texts he was sending me.  I can’t even believe that it’s him. It’s like some sick movie he’s caught in and can’t get out of.  It’s heartbreaking because he has the biggest heart in the whole world and has this capacity for love that can’t be matched.
I’ve never loved anyone that has a mental instability.  This isn’t a joking matter and it’s not funny, but if I don’t laugh at it, I will cry.  Oh and I have cried.

So here I sit in one of the worlds most beautiful places and I am being sent texts telling me I am a horrible person that is involved in this crazy life and doing HORRIBLE things that I can’t even imagine really exists in this this world, but clearly it does because the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with has been NON STOP researching it and I am the ring leader in all of it.  It’s like some sick movie.

Okay Karma…we are even.  I get it, you win.   For now on…single forever. No such thing as true love.

9 Responses to “Out with it!”

  1. Allisone Says:

    Oh Sweetie, I am so sorry. This is heartbreaking. Sending you and him all kinds of light and love.

  2. Leane Says:

    I am so sorry. I have experienced mental illness with a friend from high school (when she isn’t medicated she believes all kinds of things that aren’t real or true) and most recently we lost a stepdaughter/(daughter) to mental illness. I wish it didn’t exist. I am sorry that the person you loved so deeply (and who loved you so deeply) is also struggling with mental illness. It’s hard, it’s scary..but you are beautiful inside and out, someone will come along who is healthy for you in all ways. I believe it.

  3. Breezy Says:

    Jeezus. You deserve so much better than the hands you’ve been dealt with men. I’m so sorry. Maybe he and Autumn should hook up? K, that was mean. I love you.

  4. Me Says:

    Wendi, I thought maybe he had aspergers. But I’m no medical doctor and I am done trying to figure out what caused it.
    I’m just sad that my fairy tale ending turned out to be my worst nightmare.

  5. ~Easy Says:

    Damn…

    This makes me very sad, for you and for him.

    (Also, I need stronger readers. I had a bastard of a time trying to figure out what p*m was)

  6. Lisa Bauer Says:

    Kris, sounds like schizophrenia

  7. Traci Says:

    Awww, honey, I am so sorry. As a veteran of the mental illness in a partner experience, I am here to listen and/or help in any way I can. ❤️

  8. Lisa Says:

    My SO has aspbergers, this time of mental illness isn’t that. Aspbergers falls under the Austism spectrum. It can cause obsessive behaviors, to some extent. But now delusions like that, he sounds more like my mother does when she goes off her meds. She is bipolar. Loving someone with mental illness is awful, I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

  9. Lisa Says:

    Sorry for all the typos, nursing a baby and typing one handed