I’m not usually one for doing this, but…

Author: randomandodd  |  Category: Random

This year I am making actual resolutions.  Normally what happens is about 10 minutes before midnight I come up with something stupid that I have to do one year solid.
A couple of examples was while at the old folks bar I use to hang out with, I decided that I would have to have a green olive every time I was there.  I hate green olives with a passion, so this would be hard to stick to.
It was so hard when the bartenders there were my witness, so the moment I would walk into the place they would push an olive on a tooth pick for me and make me eat it before they would put my Captain and Coke together for me.
Another year, Tyler and I decided at the last minute that we would go a whole year without listening to Fall Out Boys. It was more of a self preservation act because it was during the time that the girls were obsessed with them and we were going to either Thelma and Louise it off a cliff or beat them to death with their Ipods.

This last year goes down as the worst year of my life.  I was stupid enough to keep saying, “How much worse can it get?” and Karma/God/Higher Spirit would then release a swarm of locust to invade my life or a rash that would take over my whole body.  I am still learning to veer away from ever asking that question.

In this year, though…I have learned so very much about myself, my friends, my body and how much I can take before I bend so far I snap.   2008 was going to be the best year because I had convinced myself that it was.  The first half wasn’t so bad, but then again, It was THAT good either.  This last month has been like someone finally handed me a flash light and said, “Take a peek.”  and the dark corners of my life scared me.  There was also some other things I saw that brought back some wonderful feelings.  There use to be this one girl who had the world in her hands and was not afraid of it.  The last six months have scared me to death.

This month is just a nice, gentle segue into my new life.   I may never be that girl who ran head first into any situation and never feared the outcome. I may never be able to stray to far from the life I have now because of the limitations my health has put on me, but damn it if I am not going to try.  Some people have said, “Die trying.” and I always thought that was a stupid thing to say…now I get it.   I’m going to fall in love with the new life I have ahead of me…or die trying.

“Get busy living, or get busy dying.” Andy Dufresne The Shawshank Redemption.

For those for of you that are at peace. I hope 2009 leaves you with more of that.  For those of you ready to step off and take more than you think you can handle…grab my hand, I’m jumping with you.  For everyone of you, I hope 2009 is full of Hope and beauty.

Love,
Kristine :)

14 Responses to “I’m not usually one for doing this, but…”

  1. Cheeky Says:

    I am jumping…..let’s go. This year has been a personal experiment in terror for me. I have found strength in myself that I never knew existed.

    So….I’m ready….let’s jump!

    PS…I don’t know why but today….on my way home from work, I was listening to the radio and heard me a little KC and the Sunshine Band and I totally thought of you…..mmm hmmm yes I did!

  2. Fantastagirl Says:

    I’m jumping too – one, two, three…

    because 2009 HAS to be better than 2008..

  3. ruka Says:

    what may be – know i’m here with you!!!!

  4. Melanie a.k.a seahorse photography Says:

    Well I hope you have a very Happy Year!

  5. Rob Says:

    So my therapist told me to try this…

    Write a letter to myself as if I’m a year older..I just turned 44..so write the letter as if I just turned 45 and write what I DID this year..sort of an accountablity thing. And of course to not go all out and have unreasonable things to accomplish..it could be something as simple as “I finished the book, it was wonderful.” etc..so instead of resolutions of what I will do..write it as what I did do.

    I have been procrastinating on beginning this letter to myself because I don’t want to let myself down again..and again..but I might give it an honest try this evening..I’m scared :)

    Much love to you this coming year. I will be seeing you very soon..contract to sign, coffee to have..

    Rob

  6. LIB Says:

    Thanks, Kristine! Haappy New Year to you, too!

  7. dashababy Says:

    Think positive. I’m down with that. Much love, hopes and hugs to you.

    I also like Robs letter to self idea.

    :) Happy New Year lil sister.
    Love yas xoxoxox

  8. justme Says:

    Well I am grabbing said hand and holding on for dear life Kristine, hope I am not squeezing to hard. The last few years have just about knocked the wind out of me! Here’s to looking at a better 2009 for all of us!!

  9. kimmyk Says:

    i’m ready to jump kristine.
    we can do this.

    2008 sucked ass. bring it 2009!

  10. Susie Says:

    That’s one of my very favorite quotes, Princess. Here’s to gettin’ busy. Living.

  11. ~Easy Says:

    No resolutions from me. The new year just means a desk calendar I haven’t spilled coffee on.

    Yet.

  12. Michelle S. Says:

    I’ve never been one for resolutions but I love Rob’s idea. I’m doing it!

  13. Sandy Says:

    I’m right there with you holding your hand ready to jump…I hope 2009 brings you lot’s of Love, Happiness, Hope and Wellness…Sending you lot’s of Love and Hug’s………..

  14. christina ina Says:

    Happy 2009! Hugs and hopes for good health and happiness to you. I believe there are good things in the future to come :-)