Random and Odd

he asked, “are you fucking crazy?” and i say, “maybe”

On my long list of things I want to be able to say I can do, I have added the one thing that in the past few years I have said is the stupidest thing in the whole, wide world. I want to be able to say I can ride a motorcycle.
When I met Dan, he had a Ninja 900 (just like the one in Top Gun) and we would spend hours and hours riding it.  My little ass could fit on there quite nicely and my big, blonde hair wasn’t confined by a stupid helmet.
Since then my ass isn’t something ANYONE should have to see hanging over the seat of a motorcycle and my head would be shoved in a helmet that would make astronauts envious.
When I was 18, Dan handed me the bike and offered to let me ‘take it for a spin’.  I made it about 5 feet before I dropped it. Needless to say, my ‘driving’ days were over before they began.
I woke up this morning and decided; The hardest part is stopping and starting.  If I could master those two things, I could successfully say, ‘I can ride a motorcycle’ and then I can move on to the next thing on my list.

This year should be filled with lots of things.  My list is long and heartbreaking.
I want to feel my heart thud inside my chest cavity so hard I think it will explode…and not because I’m having a full blown anxiety attack.
I want to feel love so passionately that I feel like my skin is on fire.
I want to wake up each morning and say, “What’s new for me?”
I want to taste new foods that make me want to cry they are so tasteful.

Things I don’t want to do;
I don’t want to eat fast food ever again. It’s been a couple weeks so far.
I don’t want to drink soda. I know it’s eating my insides out.
I would love to stop smoking. Not for me, because I love it, but for my kids. to be a good example.
I don’t want to give a shit. I have this icon that says, “Cancel my subscription. I’m sick of your issues.”  Hell yes. Doesn’t that sound great? I want to cancel some subscriptions.
I never want to take another antibiotic for the rest of my life. I know that isn’t reasonable, but my body is tired and worn out from 6 solid months of it.

My new friends;
Vitamins. Holy crap, I haven’t taken a vitamin in ELEVEN years! yeah, prenatal vitamins were the last time I popped one. They make me physically ill, but I realize now…I NEED them.
Yogurt.  I would swim in a barrel of it, if someone would provide it!
Laughter. I want that sound to surround me like music.
MUSIC. Thank you again for the Ipod. I have music going ALL the time now and I am reminded of the good times in my life when music was a friend.  It hurts sometimes, but it’s a good hurt.
Photography. Of course has always been my bestest friend, but like a friend who is forced to move in with you and take over your bedroom…I have resented it for awhile. I promise to take more pictures…and share my lip gloss.
Videos.  I bought a cheap video camera for the kids. I will jump into that world as well…and capture the remaining years of my children and their innocence.
My hair.  I know, some of you hate it, but I really like it right now. It makes me get up in the morning and try to do something with it.  Just humor me for awhile okay?
Writing. I’m still working on my book, but it took a back seat to E Coli. I have also started something a little different from Random and Odd. It’s a year of photography along with my horoscope and how I feel about it.
Promises.  I promise this year, I will fall in love with life again.

Today was spent much like 2008, laying around and enjoying my husband’s company and the comfort of my bed.

Tomorrow…will be much different.