damn dogs!,  Random and Odd

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Our Family Meeting....

We have family meetings. With 5 brats kids and two adults living in this house, we need to get together and beat the children have long, important talks about how things get ran around the house.

I’m making it sound much better than it really happens. Here’s how it really happens:

The first step is Shaun coming home to me curled in a fetal position on the side of the bed.
“Hard day honey?” He leans down and rubs my head.
After the shaking and sobbing stops, “yes. i hate children.”
He smiles at me, “I know you do honey. Wanna talk about it?”
I then slam my head into the side of the bed a few times until my noggin is resting on the carpet.
“The kids…they yell at each other all the time” Then I go into my Marina/Kara/Shea/Alyx impression of them. “and…Tyler, he doesn’t listen…he WON’T WALK THE DOG UNLESS I DEMAND HIM TO! and oh…god…the…class party is tomorrow…”
“I’ll help. Kristine, why are you on the floor?”
“DAMN DOG PEED ON THE FLOOR AGAIN!”

Then after I finally calm down and the insane eye blinking and twitching stops, we go talk to the kids.

Shaun, he’s so rational and calm. He gives examples, stories and adds little jokes. I think if he knew how to give a Power Point presentation on ‘family harmony’ during our meetings, he would.
I on the other hand sit on the couch next to him and yell things like, “Yeah! what he just said!”
and “If you do THAT again, I will ground you!”

After the meeting the kids all go about their way, happy, laughing and joyful. I personally think we should end each meeting with a shot of capscum to the eyes or at least a little bit of electrocution to drive our point home….”NO MORE YELLING! NO MORE FIGHTING! GET THE FUCK ALONG OR MOMMY IS GOING TO SNAP!” but we don’t. We just let them get along for 5 minutes until it starts up again.

Last week we had to have a meeting because everyone is being really rude to each other and Shaun is tired, really tired of the kids yelling from one end of the house to another.
“KAAAARRRRRAAAAAAAA!!!!!” Marina yells from the bedroom.
Kara ignores her, because Kara is a bitch like that.
“KAAARRRRRAAAAAA!!!!!” She yells again.
Kara ignores her again.
“KARA!” I yell from the other bedroom, “ANSWER HER!”
“WHAT DO YOU WANT MARINA!?!”

As you can see, it gets annoying and Shaun said, “No more yelling…I can’t stand the yelling in this house. If you want to say something, say it…there is no reason to yell it…”

and it was at THAT MOMENT that I heard the sound of SANTA CLAUS ON THE FIRE TRUCK….IN. OUR. COURT!

I was 5 again. “SANTA IS HERE! SANTA IS HERE!!!!” I screamed it and Shaun said I pushed Shea out of the way as I ran for the front door. “SANTA!! HE’S HERE!!”

Do you know how hard it is to try to look stern while we were finishing our family talk with a candy cane sticking out of my mouth, knowing I had broke every new family rule we had just made?

I'm a lot of things, but mostly I'm just Random and Odd.

28 Comments

  • SoozieQ

    Who cares if you broke the rules, you’re the MOM you can do that! And besides…..SANTA WAS THERE!

    I am SO heading up your way as Santa never comes to our house….he’s probably afraid of the Dog, but *whatever*

  • Lori

    I love how all the kids are sitting apart. Body language there :)

    As you know I can totally relate to the kids yelling, etc. etc. And me yelling from the living room for them to stop fighting because I don’t want to get up and go in there. Oh, and the laying in bed thing. Ugh.

    Shaun sounds wonderful and just what you need.

  • Casey

    I love it! Suddenly my life feels…uh…dare I say it? Normal. Oh yeah – my house is crazy nuts and my two are only 3 and 10 months.

    OY! Shades of my future. :)

  • Random and Odd

    Dashababy-(AKA: the bestest sister EVER) said: I love this pic of your home and the kids. It looks all warm and glowy.

    Yeah, Some people call it HELL. Warm and Glowy is another word for PURGATORY!

    Actually, we had a nice fire going and had some hot cocoa. (God we sound so lame huh?)

    It’s the 50mm lens for the D70…bestest lens EVER.

  • Mel

    Hey, “the person who makes the rules, can break the rules”, is what i always say. lovely pic of shaun and the kids. and i thought the yelling and screaming was bad at my house. i can’t imagine what it would be like with “big” kids. honey i’d probably snap too. or drink;) merry christmas…

  • TRA

    I love this. I thought I was the only one who melted down like that. My counselor told me to make Army of Dad the disciplinarian in the house and let him take the lead since it is sort of the man’s job to do that anyway. And, I’m gonna let him do it. Will make my life easier. Plus, they’re more scared of him than they are me. :)

    and, Santa comes to our house on Christmas Eve!!! Only he parks his sleigh down the street on a rooftop where no one is home. That way no one catches him. :)

  • Random and Odd

    HEY! shouldn’t you be on your way home mister?

    Oh, if it’s raining outside, I need you to pick up Kara and Marina. I don’t think they have their umbrellas.

    They get out at 3:15.

    I’m going to go get you an xmas present!!

  • Nessa

    santa and the firetrucks come through our neighborhood too and scare the living shit out of me & Miss B every time because we hear the sirens long before we see Santa and we’re always sure the next street over is burning down…

  • kalki

    Love this. I would be the exact same way – the twitching, the “YEAH, WHAT HE SAID!” and the screaming.

    (I get WAY excited when the ice cream truck drives by. That’s my Santa on a sleigh.)

  • Aurora

    I so understand. I work as a daycare educator, i have 15 two and a half year olds who are either screaming in excitment, or screaming at each other….advil….lots of advil…

  • Closet Metro

    There should always be an exception to the no yelling rule that if Santa or Andrew Ridgely are outside on a firetruck, you must yell loud enough for everyone in the house to hear you.

  • Flutter

    Wow listen to Renees potty mouth!

    I hated family meetings growing up. We had them to they were so unproductive.

    Oh and the kids faces when Shaun is talking to them are hysterical!

  • Kerry

    Oh my… that reminds me of when i was a kid and my dad would call “family pow-wows”. I hated them. someone always left the table crying and it wasnt him.

    Good to know that those things have carried over into the following generations. hahahah

  • Charmed1

    I too have the fetal-loosing-your-mind-sobbing-hating-all-children position down pat. I’ve always said I hated kids, why did I put myself through the torture 5 times? I mean the 30 seconds of orgasmic bliss does not make 18 years of hell worth it. I am so with you there. Enjoy ’em while they are semi young, they’ll be gone soon.

  • Cyndi

    HEY!! Steve came up with an idea for the yelling problem…

    When we want one another, from one room to the next or upstairs to down, we, um…call each other on the cell phone. Yeah. Really. LOL

    If you are really cool [or just aren’t speaking to each other] you can text each other…

    So, cell phones all around, Santa!!