I had a great time with Victoria and the girls at Alcatraz yesterday. Victoria bought a ‘passport’ when we went to Yosemite and she is visiting all the places in there and Alcatraz was one of them. I have been twice, but when she showed such enthusiasm to see it, I couldn’t resist taking her. Alyx kept smiling at how excited she was just being on the boat getting over there. No one has ever been more excited to go to prison.
The night before we left I had a weird dream. I was in this marathon and I was wearing my Vans and had forgotten my watch, water and just about everything else. Victoria and I were running through towns and then we hit the trail and I took my shoes off and I was running faster and I lost her. I kept yelling back to tell her that I was right here and then the trail opened up to the city and it detoured through a hospital. I told you this shit was weird.
It’s been probably 15 plus years since I have had a dream about my grandpa, but there he was in this hospital bed struggling through the last days of his life. Collapsing on the bed in his arms I told him how much I loved him. I touched his face and was sobbing. All the sudden, I stood up and I said, “I love you, but I am in the middle of a marathon and I have to go!”
I woke up after that instead of thinking, “Wow, I just had a dream about Grandpa.” I thought, “Oh man, I wonder what my time was?!”
This was my ah-ha moment.
In a conversation with Kate from Getty Owl I told her that I wanted to PR this run for Getty. She has ran marathons and asked, “What’s PR?” I explained and she said, “I run to get to point a to point b and don’t worry about that other stuff…”
I guess when your whole world is flipped over and shaken to its core, stupid shit like beating your time seems pretty damn irrelevant. Time to Kate and other families dealing with SMA is measured differently than most of us.
We talked about how not stressing about certain things gives her time to enjoy what is in front of her and I decided I am done with all the pushing and just going to relax too.
The next time I have a dream where I am blessed with being able to spend time with a loved one that has passed away, I want to just enjoy that time.