I’m at that weird cross road where I am caught between who I am, what I want to be…and in those moments I seem to be able to write from the heart. As you can tell, i’m kind of half assing it here.
So here is where the split social networking personality comes into play.
Facebook: I write whatever the fuck I want, but then I hit delete and try to write it where my family doesn’t want to wash my mouth out with soap, my aunt feels she needs to pray for my soul, that is without a shadow of a doubt, going to rot in hell. I don’t want to sound single/available because I don’t want anyone interested. I don’t want to sound single/bitter because there will come a day when I do and I don’t want someone to think I will cut off their penis if they leave the toilet seat up either. I don’t want to sound weak, because i’m not. I don’t want to sound strong, because I’m not.
I just write really pointless crap…which I have come to find is what Facebook is best for…oh, and being able to find the funniest shit on youtube. I mean come on…Antione and “hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your husband because they are raping evr’one out here.” I don’t care who you are, that was funny as fuck.
R&O is my heart. This is where I bring it and dump it and not really care who is going to read it. There’s a pretty good chance I will not ever go into a position in my life where high up executives will go through my blog and say, “Dear God! that woman spoke of boob hair on the internets!!”
Flickr that is mostly associated with my blog is where I had a blast. The amount of technical crap I learned from those amazing photographers that I have passed onto other people in return is the ultimate pay it forward website. I have since blocked nearly 9,000 pictures. Not sure where I am going with it yet, I might bring back the artistic pictures…right now it says what I need it to, it’s my reminder to move forward.
The other Flickr I have is from Suddenly Single. When I got my new phone I put the address to upload my pictures to that Flickr instead of my old Flickr because I didn’t want a bunch of ‘cell phone pictures’ cluttering up my main account and with this new phone that is *cue angels singing* heeeeaaavvvvennnnn….I had noooooo idea how many ‘cell phone pictures’ I would be taking. For the record, A WHOLE BUNCH. Since we are talking about my new phone… How did I live before swype? I. DO. NOT. KNOW!
In the process of getting to know my new phone I found some cool apps that do a great job fucking up a normal picture and sometimes making it look kind of cool. Fine line people, FINE line. When I started uploading them and looking at them, I was inspired to write. When I write there, I would like to say it’s from my cheerleader side. You know that person inside of you when you break down and start crying and that voice starts yelling at you to stop, pick yourself up, keep going…that one that tells you that you’re a fucking idiot and to get a clue. That is the one that writes on that Flickr. I think I kinda have a little crush on her. She’s the smarter, wiser, stronger part of me.
I wish that I had more of an artistic side, but I guess I can only have 1 or 2…that is split up into 2 or 3 each.