Random and Odd

I got an email….

So I was digging through emails looking for the confirmation email for my new bluetooth when I noticed that TheYear2009@ohyeahitsuckith dot com had sent me an email.

Dear Kristine,
I’ve kinda heard some of the stuff you’re saying about me and my feelings are deeply hurt.
I know our relationship kinda started out on rocky footing. I said some mean things, you said some mean things. I may or may not have written your name in the bathroom at the Mexican food restaurant with some lewd comment underneath.
We sorta hit our grove by February though. Remember you were feeling better and I was like, “This is going to be a really cool year for you!”

I’ve been thinking a lot about our friendship.  You invited me to two parties where I was the guest of honor! No one has done that for me. You toasted me and said that I can suck it.  I took that as a compliment because I did suck up a lot for you.  I mean, I really cleaned house on your life!
I didn’t realize you would lose so much in the process, but look at all that we did!

In April we sat in the most beautiful part of this world in awe of ourselves.  It wasn’t that long before you thought Yosemite was in another state! You put your kids in that car and you drove to Yosemite with tears at every sad song that came on the radio, but you wiped the tears away and we made our way through the twists and turns to get there.  You promised me that we would go back next year when it wasn’t so cold and we would lay in that big meadow.

In May we made it snow because you promised a friend we would go play in the snow.

In June we changed your life forever.  How can you forget all that?  How could you say that our time together was anything less than wonderful?
I want to just make a list of the reasons why I should be the best year of your life.

1. All of your girls are happy and healthy.  Yes, you had a bumpy road for a couple of months, but because of that bumpy road…you know your daughter and you have a renewed faith in the years to come.
2. What is left in your life is yours. It belongs to no one else.
3. When you got sad yesterday, you had a friend send you a video of all your friends smiling, happy, jumping out of planes. You have some pretty amazing friends that truly care for you.

Remember the hurricanes. You look around at all the destruction that has hit and the old houses are leveled, the new houses are nothing more than a cement slab and the mobile homes are in another state.  Then you see a few houses scattered around that are still standing.  You are like that random house in the middle of nowhere. The other houses, those are your friends.  They certainly aren’t the houses you would expect to be standing, but they are.
I know i’m like that hurricane. I came through your life and I threw everything up in the air and you had to stand there and watch what would hit the ground and shatter…I knew you didn’t expect so much to break.   I was proud of you though. You cried A LOT, but you did it while you were sweeping up the mess.

Since we are talking about tears, let’s talk about all the things you did cry about.
You cried for the loss of your best friend of 8 years. That’s totally understandable. You cried because he was someone very special to your children. You cried because you lost not only your friend, but the family you built.
You cried because of the haunting nightmares.
You cried because you lost a friend that you believed would be a part of your life forever, but she wasn’t. You cried for the unexpected.
You cried for a friend when many of his friends died.  You cried for your friends when they lost one of their own.
You cried when the dog barfed on the kitchen floor and you realized that there was no one there to clean up that mess anymore…and you had to do it.
You cried angry tears.

You also cried some tears of relief. You cried because someone said something so incredibly sweet you didn’t have words to say thank you. You cried after landing a 260 in middle of a thorny field after a line twist on your first jump out. You cried not because you broke your toe or hit the ground REALLY HARD, you cried because YOU did that all by yourself.  You cried just reading that.  You cry when you know someone is going through all the things that you did this year and saying, ‘i know what you’re going through’ just isn’t enough.  You cried when a friend conquered something she had been afraid of for so many years because you knew she could do it.  and she did.
You cried when you had to let go of everything about yourself and just let yourself be happy even if it made you look bad.
Sometimes you still cry in the shower because you’re afraid that all this goodness that I brought you this year will disappear.

I promise you this, even though I looked like a really shitty in your life, I brought you here and HERE is where you need to be.  So go on and tell me to Fuck Off and when you’re finished reading this email you go ahead and answer that IM from your friend who can’t wait to get home to hang out with you. You pack up your bye-bye bag so you can spend an evening with someone so unexpected that you sometimes forget to breath.  You remember to call your daughter back because she just called to tell you that she loves you…even though she just told you before she left to go play with her little sisters.  At 5pm when you close up your work computer for the day  you remember why you are RIGHT here in this moment.

It was because of me.

All my love,