Kara got home from her snow trip today. She reminded me of myself when I was going to church at her age. I loved church camp. I loved everything about it. I’m grateful that she had the opportunity to be a part of something so special with her new friend, Kyla.
It’s wonderful to know that I can send my child over to her friends house and know that the parents are an active in their child’s life. Her mother is a mother and not her ‘best friend’. She is accountable for her behavior around her parents and at other people’s home. Her family will make sure that if Kara is in their home that they will respect the choices I make for my daughter and not disrespect me by telling my daughter that the choices I make for her are ‘wrong’.
I’m not strict, I’m not unfair, my children respect me as a parent…and a ‘friend’. They can come to me and not fear telling me the truth. I respect them enough to not to drill them for every detail of their lives.
Have I mentioned how much I adore this girl’s parents?
Alyx was bored to death last night. I decided to put a bit of make up on her and take pictures. I know my girls are not camera shy are are pretty darn cute, but I had no idea how photogenic Alyx was. Normally she does this stupid smile or the ‘enough with the camera mom.’ look.
Looking at her pictures and seeing how much older she looked with a tad bit of eye shadow, I felt the need to hurry up and write her a letter to make sure she heard at least a small fraction of what I have teach her before she is grown and doing her own thing. Things I think I might have forgotten the first 11 years of her life.
At 4 am I was still very much awake. She walked into the room and I pulled her into bed with me and all the thoughts running through my head that were keeping me awake, washed away. I fell asleep.
As you can see, I am probably going to be posting this at 2:45 am. The night is still early for me. There are 2 or 3 more hours of stressing before my mind and body break down and I am able to sleep. It doesn’t matter that I took the ‘mac daddy’ of all sleeping pills at 10 pm.
How are things? Oh, I don’t know. I feel like I’m stuck in some strange purgatory. Day late and a dollar short and all the other stupid phrases that describe people who make a bed and then have to lay in it. (By the way, people who make a bed and are forced to lay in it…they don’t sleep in it. They just lay there and stare at the ceiling fan and redecorate the room in their heads)
You know how when you have a headache, you wish you could take your brain out and scratch the pain right off? I’m kinda like that, but I wish I could drink some bleach and clean out all the ick. When i’m all clean then I can lose some weight, not be so freaked out, grab a back pack and be one with nature. I think I might be a closet tree hugger. DEEP in the closet. So deep in the closet that you would NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS guess that I love the world outside of the safe walls of my home.
Maybe I will go out tomorrow and buy some trail mix and biodegradable toilet paper. Or drink bleach. I haven’t decided which one. Pine Sol would probably be more appropriate?*
*kids, i’m not drinking bleach or Pine Sol. Yet.