She does Porn Hair

Not that she doesn’t hear it all the time, but my sister is right.
My hair has roots. I even dyed it a darker color to avoid this problem.

My sister does my hair. She is, along with being mom’s second favorite daughter, the BESTEST hair dresser that ever lived. Step down Paul Mitchell, my sister has a pair of sissors and some tin foil. I’m not kidding, it’s like having a professional basketball player for a brother…you have to brag. She is a ‘mortgage’ person now, but her heart belongs to the squirt bottle.
Alright, you forced me to say it; She’s one of THOSE hairdressers. She’s the one person that can get your hair to do EXACTLY what you want it to do. She’s the one you will follow to the end of the earth just to get your hair done in a cold-ass garage in the back alley. Kathy is my hair dressing crack dealer.

I’ve given into the pressure. I’m going up this weekend to get my fix.

Did I mention the tag-team guilt trips my mom and sister can do when they want me to come visit?
You would think they were old jewish ladies the way the get going.

So, back to my hair. It’s bad. I look like Elaine Boosler right now. My hair is all frizzy, dead and different colors of wrong.
I’m not sure what to do with it. I have a collection of pictures of ‘phases’ of my hair that I was going to share with you, but I am too embarrassed at this point because every picture I found…I have porn hair.
Yes. Porn hair. BIG, FLUFFY & FEATHERY.

Don’t believe me?

porn hair

Okay people got any suggestions on what this former porn star can do to her hair?

I'm a lot of things, but mostly I'm just Random and Odd.


  • Pissy Britches

    Oh my god. You are cracking me up girl. I had hair like that a long time ago also so I feel your pain. Did I mention I love Ron Jeremy!
    You are so little and cute you need a nice choppin off..a little short but not real short hair-do! Would be so cute and much easier for you to deal with since you have so many damn kids everywhere like me. Just one word of advice..do not cut it so short that it won’t go back in a hat or ponytail. Gotta have our looking like hell days now and then!

  • Colleen

    I’m with Stephanie. maybe shoulder length, very slightly layered ay bottom. but girl, you could shave your head and still be in a porn flick.

    errr, meant that as a compliment, but just doesn’t sound right…..

    I’ll go now.

  • KC

    You should run a disclaimer before that last post so that I don’t spit Diet Pepsi all over my monitor at work again!

    I have to third (fourth) the long layers at shoulder length – but not too short to put in a ponytail. I am in the process of growing out a VERY short (but super-cute at the time) haircut and it’s taking FOREVER. I wish I could put my hair in a ponytail. More than just about anything right now.

  • Aurora

    I went from being a blond to dying me hair a medium golden brown, and i love it! i now never have any roots, and i had my hair cut straight across, so now its thicker.
    Try it! Its not to scary!!!