It’s 6am. I’ve been wide awake for the last hour catching up on some letter writing, chatting with my best friend before she heads off to work and thinking about my life.
I keep thinking that I should be mourning the loss of the relationship that just ended, but instead I am feeling really happy. Maybe I was mourning that loss towards the end and that is why it is so easy for me to move forward. I’ve already done my grieving.
Some days I give myself ten minutes to still be angry. Not at the final moments, but the conversation that followed afterward. As I was sitting there in shock, he gets a text from his ex-wife at 2 or 3 in the morning. I’m all, “REALLY? you already told her? it’s been 5 minutes!” He said “I just said, ‘ I have become you.’ ”
Now this is where I have issues in the past. If your world just come crashing in, by your own doing and you text your ex wife before you even say you’re sorry to the person you just crushed….doesn’t that right there speaks volumes? It kind of does. It kinda makes my argument pretty valid.
Now that the full picture is in front of me and I know that the married woman he cheated on me with comes over to ‘hang out’ ….I have to say, he didn’t become his ex-wife…he became the guy she had an affair with.
It takes me a few times to get a life lesson, but this last one. I got it now. It’s a mistake I will not make again.
This last month has been refreshing. I get up at 6am every morning and I get ready to go to work with the greatest people. Seriously, my boss is one of the last men in the world that is honest and fair. Yes, he has a few (and by few I mean A LOT) to say about how much he hates the prez and the political arena and he is so politically incorrect that it’s like spending the day with my dad.
The other week, he drove a customer’s car home and I watched him sit in the living room and talk to this 80 year old woman and ask her about her family (he remembers everything!) WHO DOES THAT? What mechanic will drive your car home?
He’s the best boss I have ever had. People come in and tell me great stories about how long they have been coming there. THIS job has been my saving grace and has brought me more happiness than ANY other place I have ever worked.
We all have our place in the shop. They laugh at how well I blended in with 4 very different people. A customer was there when I was handing out their vitamins for the day and she giggled at the absurdity of it. Yes, I make sure they take their vitamins!
Being happy during the day has been the best medicine. A lot of that is because of my friends too. They are so supportive of the direction I am moving.
I don’t call him my ‘friend’…I call him my ‘person’. Aaron. I feel so sorry for the poor kid. I kept it all in until I couldn’t anymore and I called him, bawling, trying to tell him I needed a coffee.
He’s young, he’s NEVER seen me lose it and I am certain he was absolutely clueless as to how to handle the situation…but he stepped up and brought me TWO coffees. Since that day, that 5 minutes we haven’t said another word about it. He didn’t ask the details. He was just there to listen and watch me shake my head. A month later and he still doesn’t know the details of what happened and doesn’t care, He just knows that I am happy now. That’s a person. That’s MY person. The person I will call if I need a body buried in hurry.
My hockey friends…holy shit. So amazing. The prayers, the calls, the texts, the lunches. I’m going to be a better friend to everyone for this. Collectively they have shown me so much love and acceptance. I know that when I do move forward into a new relationship, they will be happy for me because they love me and want me to be loved. Wow, they will get to see what I am like HAPPY!
I’m not letting this or the one before it stop me from being hopeful that there is something out there for me. I’m absolutely CERTAIN of it. I’m not closing off my heart. I’m not bitter. I’m not angry. I am not anything but hopeful and happy. That is the good stuff right there.