Yesterday was crazy.
I went to the house to pick up a few things. It’s hard being there. I look around and see the life I will no longer have. Then I see him and I miss him. I mean, I miss the us. The good times when he would want to be fun and would allow it. I let my mood be dictated on how his day was going or how he treated me. I do miss the times when we would laugh. I use to do that a lot more.
Work went quick because I had to leave at noon to pick up my niece from the airport and then I had a dentist appointment.
I got back an hour before we closed and did all the close out invoicing for the day.
Sez and I went to dinner and to the casino. It was so much fun. We both walked out winners. I can’t remember the last time I was even in that casino!
I got a great text during dinner letting me know that things had gone well, but not as well as expected. This is going to sound fucked up, but I am so glad it didn’t go TOO well.
This gives me an opportunity to put my foot and the door and show what I can do.
I got a phone call later that night from my old friend and I laughed for what felt like an hour straight. It’s been like that a lot with me. People have been coming into my life and I can feel that part of me coming back. That very social, sweet, caring and FUNNY person.
We talked up until 11pm about stupid things and people we use to know. For the most part, I thought my memory was pretty good, but it’s not until you’re talking to people you knew when you were a kid that you start remembering the small details.
He mentioned a friend that I forgot we even had and I was shocked that my memory could completely erase someone I had known for that long, completely out. I was reminded of the long summers on the dock of Woodridge/Truetts lake.
We promised each other that we would go back to Shingletown and visit the old haunts. How strange of a trip will that be? He wants to see his father’s memorial bridge. That one will be hard for both of us. I can’t remember crying so hard for another person’s pain. That funeral was the hardest one to go to. A police officer. I saw him there after years of radio silence and he hugged me with such intensity. I wouldn’t have guessed I would see him almost a year later when his 23 year old sister died. Things like that shouldn’t happen to a kid.
I’m glad we talk again though.