a letter to my sister,

Author: randomandodd  |  Category: Dashababy

I’ve tried writing this as a post for the perfect blog entry. I tried to write so my readers could have some clue to what a stand-out siter you are.
I tried picking out a song that would capture who you are so they could feel what I feel.
I looked for a picture of us when we were little that would show them that you and I were the bestest sisters that ever existed.

Four pads of paper, a pack of smokes & 13 cd’s later – I’m stuck. I’m stuck not being able to express myself clearly.

How could they ever know? How could they ever feel what I feel? Could they?

I hear stories all the time about sisters and how much they love each other. Sometimes love isn’t everything. It sure helped growing up in our house because we didn’t have anything, but we had love.
What I remember most about our youth was not just love, but the security you gave me.
You made sure I didn’t grow up too fast, you let me be a little girl living in a fantasy world where I was a princess with flowers in my hair.

It wasn’t always easy being my big sister, but I never felt like I wasn’t welcome anywhere you went. I remember watching you dance with your girlfriends. Watching you be my older sister was always with so much pride. I had the prettiest sister of all my friends. I had the sister that put make-up on me and made sure I wasn’t left out or picked on by any of her friends.

When you got married we went out and picked daisies. How do I remember this? I was so young then. I don’t remember with great clarity every day, but I can place my feelings perfectly…I felt safe. No matter what, I was safe.

After you were married I was always welcome to stay with you anytime I wanted. You would come get me and we would hang out. With everything going on in your life you still let me live in my fantasy world where everything was pretty horses and magic. My time with you was always an adventure. We would go out to the lakes and listen to the birds. You would point out flowers and ask me what my favorite sounds and smells were.
Things like that never changed with you.

As we got older I still spent days at your house. You had transformed into the prettiest sister into the ‘hottest’ sister. We got to share clothes and you showed me that you understood me on new levels. We got to tell each other stories that didn’t involve magic unicorns and rainbows. We started to connect and understand where the other one was coming from.

It sounds horrible, but the day your marriage ended and we ended up back in the same bedroom I was selfishly happy. Paul was always more like my little brother than my nephew and now I got to have my big sister to talk to and my baby brother to play video games with.
The day you met Kevin was a turning point in our relationship. We went from sisters to best friends.
I left a note on the bedroom door that read; “I don’t care how late it is when you get home, I want to hear all about it! WAKE ME UP!” and you did! I was half asleep and you were bubbling with excitement. We sat up and talked about everything that happened on the first date with the man you ended up marrying.

In my teens I was still a huge part of your life. You made sure of that. You made room for me no matter how small the house you lived in. When the houses got bigger I got my own room.

I turned 21 in the hospital with Kara and everyone knows that without you being there she would have never come out. I would have never made through that without you.
That seems to be the recurring theme throughout my life. You were always there and you always let me know that it was going to be okay.

Through the hardest times in my life I ended up on the phone with you. In extreme cases I ended up at your door. You said once that your favorite sound was hearing me say that I was right around the corner.
I almost missed an important birthday of yours because I didn’t know how to drive a stick shift. Two days before your birthday I grabbed the keys and taught myself well enough to get to the freeway. My theory was, ‘if I can get to the freeway I will have three hours in 4th gear and it will be smooth sailing!’ ….What I didn’t account for was that you lived on a hill with four stop signs all the way up that hill. It was worth the embarrassment of stalling and lurching to see how proud and happy you were that I was there.

That feeling never gets old; knowing that if I live in my fantasy world, screw up, make mistakes and fall flat on my face that you ‘ll be there to stare at me…shrug your shoulders…laugh a little and say, “Yeah. We’ve all been there Kristine.” and you still love me and you’re still proud of me.

I know that no matter what you’ll get that smile on your face when I walk through the door and we will laugh the whole time we are together. We will talk until long after we have anything important to say and probably laugh so much that we cry and our faces hurt.

There is no way for me anyone to even grasp the depth of the love I have always had for you.

You have been my mother, my sister and my best friend for so many years that I can’t imagine a single day without you in it.

Happy Birthday Kathaleenie-weenie.

Your little sister,
Krissy Poo

25 Responses to “a letter to my sister,”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    I have been a regular visitor to your blog since November lsat year and there was never a time where I grew bored of reading your what you wrote. And this letter is just lovely. I don’t have a sister, I always wished I had one. I liked this the content of this letter. Your relationship with your mom and sister is just amazing. And I like reading your blog. It never made me bored. Just wanted you to know that. Through the comments you get on each post, it’s enough to see that lots of people love you. Keep posting. :)

  2. KC Says:

    I agree with what Shaun said yesterday. It’s soon going to be Random and Odd and Kleenex :)

    Seriously, that was sooo sweet. I wish that my sister and I had the relationship that you and Kathy have, I’m very envious.

  3. Sissychong Says:

    What a beautiful, tribute to your sister. You two are lucky to have each other, in a world filled with so much hurt, and anxiety, its nice to know that someone has your back, no matter what!

  4. Pissy Britches Says:

    Kristine, you have got to stop this shit. I am bawling AGAIN today because of this post. You guys are so lucky to have one another! Don’t ever take it for granted. Fabulous post Kristine. Happy Birthday DBABY!

  5. Mrs.Strizzay Says:

    AAW! Your a sap I tell ya.

  6. mrtl Says:

    You know, I was just about to start crying when I saw the “Kathaleenie Weenie” thing. Being a Catherine, I always felt safe from the rhyming taunts… (my last name was easy enough, anyway, since it rhymes with “Boner”). Imagine my horror when a friend called me “The Catheter.”

    Happy Birthday Dashababy!

  7. mrtl Says:

    By the way, I had the Bass clogs, too. They were my best friends. I recently parted with them, too. It was a sad, sad day.

  8. lawbrat Says:

    So loving and full of emotion. In my opinion, you achieved what you set out to do. The feeling is there.
    Happy Birthday dashababy!!

  9. Nessa Says:

    I always wish I could have had this relationship with my sister, but I believe our closeness in age was a hindrance (16 months) – you wouldn’t think it would be, but it was for us. It’s lovely that you have that & can hold onto it forever! Thanks for filling the emotions today!

  10. Cat Says:

    Nicely said.

  11. Shaun Says:

    Happy Birthday Kath!!!! What a great post. I have the luxury of seeing these two together, and the bond is definitely there.

    Random and Odd and Kleenex strikes again.

  12. Southern Fried Girl Says:

    Your posts are just lethal on my non-waterproof mascara. Ya killin’ me, girl. In a good way of course. :)

    Happy Birthday to what clearly is a fabulous sister. :)

  13. Nilbo Says:

    (sigh) Now you’re just getting me back for making you cry. *sniff*

    My daughters have just this kind of relationship, although their age gap is a little smaller – three years apart. It’s a source of great comfort to me, as a parent, to know they will always have one another. So … I betcha this letter is a wonderful thing for the Fonz to read.

    Lovely. Just lovely.

  14. Spurious Plum Says:

    So wonderful that you and your sis are so close. Thanks for sharing this with us!

  15. dashababy Says:

    now that ive pulled myself together,,,,, thank you. thank you for making my eyes all puffy on my birfday. i was trying to be all “im not gonna cry” but then cracked about half way thru. i loved the letter and will treasure it always. you always make me feel very special. i hope i never let you down.
    when you were little, i never imagined that we would be so close with age difference.
    i know these words dont measure up but you know how i really feel.

    i wish you were here, then it would really be a happy birthday.

    and thanks to all for the birthday wishes, very sweet, just dont make me cry anymore. okayyyyy

  16. The Fonz Says:

    I’ve Tried earlyier to leave a comment but I couldn’t hardly see the keyboard my tears were blinding me. That was the best Birtday present you could of given your sis except for being here.’-)
    ‘Happy Birthday Kathaleenie weenie’

  17. Hippo Says:

    Hippos don’t cry, the exrete an orangy substance from their back…oranging!!!!

    Awesome recollections and love!

    Dr. H.O. Potamus

  18. LadyBug Says:

    Kristine, that was beautiful.

    I hope my daughters have the kind of relationship you and your sister have when they grow up.

  19. Caroline Says:

    Awww … I want a sister!

    PS
    I haven’t been checking blogs for a while, and I just scrolled down — HOTTIE ALERT. I know that’s not the point of the post, but I can’t help it, I’m a single college student. Tell Dennis he can give me a call anytime. ;)

  20. Caroline Says:

    Oh, how big is the age gap between you and your sis? Just curious.

  21. Random and Odd Says:

    there is 13 years between Kathy and I.

    You do the math on how old she is then ;) I still don’t believe it.

    and Dennis is totally single!!

  22. Cat Says:

    13 years? That is so amazing! I have a brother that much younger than me and I barely know the dude, sadly. Awesome post.

  23. Circus Kelli Says:

    Wait… what? Where the hell have *I* been?! Why didn’t I realize Kristine and Dashababy are SISTERS?! And how does Shaun fit into the equation, and Mom Fonz is Kristine/Dashababy’s Mom, right?

    Kristine, your letter to your sister is so wonderful. I wish that I had a good relationship with my sis, but I do not. Perhaps it is because we are so close in age (just under a year apart), or maybe because we have different biological parents, or maybe maybe maybe… who knows.

    I’ll tell you though, I wish with all my heart that my little clowns have this kind of relationship with each other as they grow up.

    Happy birthday Dashababy!

  24. augieboy Says:

    just beautiful kris….
    now how the hell am i s’posed to top that !? (although i did get kath the TIVO she wanted today)

    also wanted to apologize for hoggin your beautiful sis these last 17 years, but i can’t help it. i want her all to myself. i’m very lucky having the sweetest, hottest “older sis” there’s ever been.

    and stop being sooo damn cute with yer blogstuff. you write these wonderful stories and memories, and some of us just bitch alot….

  25. Random and Odd » Blog Archive » and then a hero comes along. Says:

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