Random and Odd

Chantix — Take 2

I’m now on the 7th day of Chantix, the quitting smoking pill.  The first couple of days were odd because I was so tired I couldn’t keep my eyes open.  I felt the mood swings, but they weren’t enough to want me to drown anyone in the toilet, so I figured everyone was safe.
Somewhere around day 2 or 3, I got Dan’s flu. I knew it would come with a cough, but because I had been chain smoking in fear of never wanting another cigarette, my cough was a doozy.

Every thing has been smooth sailing and I even forgotten the side effects.  On Friday night I had a disturbing dream where I was involved with Rick James. Mr. SuperFreak himself.  In my dream, my goal was to unbraid his hair and run my fingers through his hair. In an awake state it’s discusting and I want to hurl, but in my dream state it was a turn on.  I woke up thinking, “My therapist is going to LOVE this one!”.

Since I have sporatic cases of insomnia, going two days without sleep and then being able to sleep for 5 hours without a problem, I figured the ‘problem sleeping’ warning level on the Chantix wouldn’t be a problem.  IT SUCKS.  I was FINALLY tired last night. It was a little after 11pm when I decided to go to bed. This would be like going to bed at 6pm for normal people.  I felt like I was awake, but asleep…or asleep, but awake.  I kept waking up looking at the clock thinking, “NO Fing WAY!” HOURS had gone by and it felt like I was just laying there trying to sleep…but I was.
At 3:45am I caved in and took a Xanax and slept until 10am.   I’m going to try something new tonight and take the last of 2 pills at 6pm and see if makes a difference.

Now for the smoking part of this whole thing.  I honestly think the fact that I had the flu is what slowed me down.  Taking a drag of a cigarette is painful on my throat. I’m still fighting to the cough and after I finish writing this up I am running to the store to buy me and Alyx some Musinex so we can get rid of our rattling coughs.
Good news though…last night, I actually didn’t feel like smoking when I normally would have grabbed one.  I was hoping that within the first few days the taste of a cigarette would have me wanting to put it out and become a non-smoking snob, but no such luck.
I start the higher dose tomorrow.

Bring on the creepy non-sleepy dreams!

I'm a lot of things, but mostly I'm just Random and Odd.


  • heather

    i was driving in my car…
    the time when i used to want to smoke the most…
    and it dawned on me…

    “if someone put a gun to my kids head
    (horrible thought, I KNOW)
    and said…
    If you EVER smoke another one of those i’ll pull the trigger.

    I KNOW concretely that I would NEVER touch another one of those nasty fuckers again…”

    that proved to me
    that’s it’s a choice I making.
    from that moment on
    i chose to NOT smoke.

    3.5 years ago.

    after 13 years of smoking.


    I’m proud of you!

  • Adrienne

    I was up to almost 3 packs a day and finally went cold turkey one day 15 years ago. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. To this day, I still smoke in my dreams, and subconciously know that I am dreaming, and smoke as many as I can before I wake up.

    Stick with it. You will be grateful to yourself 15 years from now.

  • Kristie

    Both my mom and dad smoked as I was growing up. Yes, I was one of those “snobs” you speak of when I was a teenager, fanning my way through the room to make a semi-clear path and making my point at the same time..I hated that they smoked. It was stinky..and I think I was using a ‘tough love’ tactic even then by showing my disgust. My dad had smoked since he was a teenager but in 1989 when I was pregnant, he quit…COLD TURKEY. My mom had quit shortly before him and he knew my health and my baby’s health were important. HE QUIT FOR ME! Both my parents did. Now THAT is LOVE! I know you love your children deeply…do this for them. They need you here as I have needed my parents all these years. YOU CAN DO IT!!