Okay, watch closely. This is what I am calling my slight of hand;
Today was fantabulous! I had a new adventure! I had a picnic in my bed!
Fuck, I suck at that.
Today sucked balls.
I got up, took the kids to school and then came home KNOWING that today was going to be one of those days. Instead of climbing in the shower, I figured I would be sophisticated and have a nice cup of tea and check my emails before. Now some people won’t think that as sophisticated, but normal. For me, I normally stumble my way into the kitchen and by the grace of some God, I manage to make coffee. Never during the process of making the coffee do I ever question the ability it takes to MAKE the coffee…it’s after my second cup that I think, “Whoa, really? How the hell did I function well enough to measure out coffee, poor water and push the button? And then again, REMEMBER, I made coffee, find a cup and the implements to make the coffee to taste like the best part of waking up? I am a fucking magician!”
So, yeah, back to this morning…I decided to make tea instead. Did you know that the ‘sleepy time’ tea REALLY works? I thought it was one of those power of mind things. People buy the tea that says sleepy so it will make them feel like they are really sleep, when they aren’t…it just said sleepy so they…what the hell is that called? placebo? something…anyway, get my drift? The damn tea worked.
I decided to wash my sheets and put new ones on. That is always tempting for me because I loves me some new, clean sheets. After I made the bed, I got in it to make sure the sheets were going to be sleep-in-able. Then Dan came over to show me his new phone and his voice has this way of making me tired. I mean, I think I could be on a 2 day crank binger and he could put me out like a light. He starts talking and explaining stuff and it’s like he dropped me 14 xanax in my tea. I could hear him saying, “You’re snoring?” and I pulled the covers over my head. Then I woke up, KID YOU NOT, at 3:30pm.
I’m pissed at myself for allowing myself to do that! I mean, YES, the dreams were off the hook, but come on…I had SO much to do!
But, I did shower and make the bed.