In a couple of weeks Shaun and I head out for our furthest destination wedding. With the gas prices dropping a whole penny or so, we might be able to afford a bag of Jerky and a slurpie for the ride there.
The Boobies On Her Lap Therapist called the other day to see when we will be scheduling our next appointment. I came up with a lame excuse as to why we won’t make it.
I’m still keeping up my diligent half reading of the self help books and spending about 15 minutes a day writing my book on how not to read a self help book.
It’s clear that Shaun has stopped reading R&O because in a conversation I had mentioned the book I was writing.
“Writing?”
“Yes, writing.”
“What’s it called?”
“How to Not Read a Self Help Book”
“Doesn’t that sound like a self help book?”
“No. kinda.”
Then he suggested how to use index cards to plot out the book.
“There is no plot. You know how in books there is conflict and resolution? Mine is conflict and I don’t know the resolution.”
I think it was at that point that I realized I had no right to write a book.
We then started talking about a possible job solution. I insist that I want to work where people are happy to see me, like being a locksmith. Everyone is happy about seeing a locksmith. “My boyfriend broke into my house and stole all my panties, I am SO happy you’re here to change the locks!” “OMG, I locked my keys in….SO glad you’re here!”
A florist too.
There a jobs where people are happy to see people. That is the job I want. Prostitute. Everyone is happy to see one of those.
How about a locksmithing florist prostitute?
16 responses to “The Places We Shall Go…”
I never thought of that. About doing a job where people are happy to see you. Not everyone is happy to see the florist (funerals, you know), but really, everyone who needs a locksmith is just tickled pink to see them.
You could combine them all to make one of the stage shows. You could pick a lock using the stem of a rose and your ….
Longtime lurker so you don’t know me to take any advice, but thought I would pass along my two cents just in case you are interested. I found an online Marriage Couseling Site so might be something to look into. It is actually put together by the folks at eHarmony. I have been thinking about trying it out for our 5 year anniversary and think it might be something nice to do every 5 years or so, to make sure we are on the same page. I am sure you will post if you try it out…. :) http://marriage.eharmony.com
Cheers!
Hummmm I think you could get paid to blog and pick locks.
Poor Boobies on her Lap Therapist. I am sure she will miss you…Sheesh how do people NOT get that they need a BRA!
I think it is is funny that you came up with locksmith…If I could do anything and money didn’t matter I would teach Kindergarden again. Insane I know but I really miss it.
or an ice cream truck driver.
i love me the ice cream man and that song he sings.
I go with KimmyK … ice cream everyone loves ice cream … Cold Stone calling my name now!
Over on FlickR, there is a picture of teen son holding toddler son.
Wow, does that bring back memories. I was 18 when my mom had my baby brother.
Then my son was 18 when my brother got his first baby.
A Family is a whole lotta people who love you.
Then the dogs barking. Almost same problem here, except ours are the neighbor cats.
The people are out of town, and the folks on the other side are supposed to be looking after the place. They let the two cats outside in the morning. First place the critters come is to my back porch, begging for some attention.
Trouble is, my own two cats want to snooze in their own spots, and they are afraid of the neighbors.
They are almost prisoners inside our house.
But dogs barking is too much. Call the police about the noise levels.
About a spouse reading your blog. Ours is the other way.
I rarely read his. I told him it’s because I feel like I’m studying for a research paper because he makes it so informative, and believe me, Intelligence is not why I cruise the ‘Net.
I want to read drama and entertainment.
Not that I provide any of that, what with just a picture of latest crochet project.
Nice to know you are holding up through the summer.
I think the job I had when people were glad to see me was when I was the church janitor.
Nothing quite like feeling needed like when somebody upchucked in the aisle on the way back from taking communion.
Oh, I’m with kimmyk! Be the ice cream woman. Just a few weeks ago, as a full grown adult, I definitely chased one down on a day that I was painting my non-air conditioned house during a heat/humidity wave! Boy, was I glad to see that ice cream lady!
How about a barista? Mmmm coffee!
Or how about a Sears repair person? People are always happy to see the repair person arrive to fix their washer.
you’d be a millionare in no time!
I would like to anounce to the world here and now that I don’t need a BRA I am a member of the littlest angles club.
now that sounds like a job! however just to keep you out of jail as much how about a locksmith who also delivers flowers/balloons to help celebrate when you rescue the person in whatever lock prediciment they were in…
i have to agree…i was very happy to see the locksmith when i was in college after locking the 2 year old i was a nanny for in the car!
you can have my job when i am done with school or when i get fed up trying to be super woman AND a nursing student… the only reason i have stayed is cuz if i hear “omg, i am so glad to see YOU” and/or “oooh i love it when you are here…” crooned to me when i walk onto the unit, i hear it at least 4x a shift. LOVE THAT. everyone should have a job that is like that. when i “aw-shucks” them, they get VERY adamant that noooo they really honestly truly love to see me and how much i do for them and how awesomely great i am, blah x 3…
want my job?
xoxo
gypsy
I think I’d come by to purchase some flowers. Yes, flowers, of course.
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