Anxiety,  photography,  Shaun

Bed Hog

This is by far my favoritest picture Shaun has ever taken.

I like this picture because it reminds me so much of Shaun. Right now, he’s laying in the middle of the bed trying to look all cuddled up, and he’s not, he’s IN THE MIDDLE of the bed.
I swear, if I didn’t know any better, Jeremiah is his son. I swear they have all the same facial gestures…like when Shaun doesn’t get his way he scrunches up his face and throws himself to the floor just like Jeremiah. The lips. I swear they have the same lips.
They both cry if you try to take the remote away.
Baseball seems to be the only channel that can be playing on tv unless it’s Backyardagans.
They both call each other “Buddy”
And oddly enough, they can’t decide if they want to be up or down. *Shrug* I don’t know what that is all about.

Tabitha moved out this weekend and at 1 am I walked into my kitchen and loudly banged the ice tray on the counter…just because I could.
It’s strange not having them around anymore, but I know it was so for the best. She kept asking questions about where I buried all the bodies in the back yard. Me thinks she was hoping there was a soft plot of land under the tree to shove me in. Just speculation though. For the record, that spot is saved for a special neighbor.

My body had decided to just shut down completely. I’m an internal stresser. If i’m stressing you don’t know unless you happen to be standing near me while I pulling clumps of hair out of my head. I have spent the last two days in bed trying without success to get past this anxiety. I had to leave the house to feed my ex-husband’s fish. The fear of the girls going over there and seeing them floating on top of the tank made my guilt over-ride my anxiety. It just happened to be the day they were tearing up the road and I had to be detoured.
Detour to me is like asking me to go to the store and buy and kumquat. “ah-wha?” as the orange flanked man pointed to another road I could take. I tried to convince him that I could see the house from right there. I guess if you wear orange and have orange cones, you are the road God. I didn’t have my “Because I’m A Grandma” license plate cover on, so he outranked me.
I drove around in circles and couldn’t figure out where I was so I ended up following the tore up road until something looked familiar. The guys in the dump trucks thought I was nuts and kind of pointed on how to get the hell off their road and I just smiled like a moron and waved. I ended up finding his house and in order to get into his drive way I would have had to put on my off roading tires. Seeing that my mini-van didn’t come with those, I swear as God is my witness, I parked on the lawn of his neighbors house! You might be a red neck IF.

It’s almost 3 am and I can’t get to sleep. It doesn’t matter if I take a handful of pills, the anxiety is winning tonight. In round one, I was doing pretty good. Then round two he got my ace in double war and I was forced to take another pill. Now I’m trying to trump anxiety with staring at a blank screen and willing my hair to NOT FALL OUT. So far, we are at a stand still. I am still awake, but the hair feels like it’s holding on.

Shaun of course looks like he’s in sleeping heaven. I swear if I didn’t watch so many forensic files and cold case files, I would smother him with the pillow.

I'm a lot of things, but mostly I'm just Random and Odd.

17 Comments

  • Andrea

    “If i’m stressing you don’t know unless you happen to be standing near me while I pulling clumps of hair out of my head.”

    i could repeat that sentence. the only difference would be where i say “while i’m picking the scabs off the scars where i picked the back of my knee to death last summer.”

  • Frazzled Mom

    I love that picture. How did he ever get that angle?

    Sorry to hear your are stressing. Being a wife and mother doesn’t help lessen lifes stresses.

  • Kami

    I love that photo.

    What the hell else was I going to say? Oh, my son was sleeping JUST THAT WAY this morning, in my bed.

  • Dave Vogt

    It’s almost like he’s a professional photographer or something!

    :-P

    It’s an awesome shot, the kind of thing I half expect to see in a JC Penny ad or something.

  • Liza

    I really hope you feel better very soon! I understand about being an internal stresser, I do that at times too. Anxiety and panic sucks more than anyone who has never had panic attacks and anxiety can every imagine. Anyone who ever tells me to just “chill” when I’m like that is liable to get their heads knocked off with a snow shovel.

    Thanks for the sweet message on myspace!! You’re too much!

    Also, happy belated anniversary!

  • Michelle

    That is a gorgeous photo. Damnt othe beast of anxiety – the humidity only makes it worse for me because. I. can’t. breathe. Hang in there and hang on and just keep breathing.

  • Sharkey

    That is one awesome photo–I’d fave it if I could. I’d love to know how Shaun got it, and how he lit it–flash bounced off the ceiling?

    Hope you can catch your breath and get some sleep soon!