How to get me to stop yard work in a super second: Add one VERY large black widow under the dog bowl.
“Why did you take pictures of it instead of killing it?” he asks.
“Oh, I did…well, your dad did…I just took pictures of it first.” I answer.
Did you know that a puddle of bleach will not kill a black widow? I size 9 shoe will.
** Update **
Shea came into my room and said she was fweaking out about spidows. She saw me uploading the picture earlier and now all she can think about is spiders. She even informed me that one crawled on her in the bathroom.
Motherly instinct (aka: the ability to lie on the spot) kicked in and I told her to follow me to the bathroom. I looked on my shelf and I grabbed a bottle of Bath and Body Works-White Cotton Glimmer Lotion and managed to convince her that there was something in the ‘glimmer and glittery’ part of the lotion repels spiders and flying bugs.
“Why do spiders not like glitter?”
“I don’t know, Honey.”
“How do you know?”
“I looked it up on the internet.”
That seemed to be the confirmation that she needed. Why can’t everyone just take that type of reasoning for everything I say?
“Go clean your room.”
“Why?”
“Because I looked it up on the internet and that is what it said.”
“Alrighty then, if the internet said so…”
31 responses to “How To:”
You got a good picture of it though.
Sweet Jesus. That would have scared the crap right out of me!
You always know a true photographer, life artist, etc. is one at heart when we risk it all to take a picture of harm’s way before we seek help.
Good GOD I hate spiders and that thing is DISGUSTING! Now I’m going to have nightmares!
And I think you got her “ex” in the photo as well… or at least his dead body!
eekkss…exactly why the Orkin man comes every other month! We has scorpians as well!! YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!
LORD HAVE MERCY!!!! Gee I like it so much better in the picture than I do on my own deck. Did you pee your pants?
LOL You called your FIL to kill the spider? I would take a picture and then run away. ;-)
::shudder::
and i have to say, i am a little disturbed by a creature that won’t die when you attempt to drown it in a puddle of *bleach*.
Wow, nice shot! Beautiful but scary. I had a run in with a brown recluse spider in NOLA a few months ago and was too freaked out to take a picture before we smushed it.
I hate spiders – was bit by a brown recluse in 94 … it was nasty caused all kinds of problems … gross so glad you were not bit!
I hate spiders. That is a great picture but I hate it.
Living in Indiana most of my life it was always the recluse I was afraid of. Now I have all kinds of things to watch out for. Good thing you saw it and got rid of it!
Ick, just ick.
I’m laughing my ass off right now and I’m going to steal your “because it was on the Internet” line then next time my kid asks me why. You are one helluva’ quick thinker!
Awesome pic. Danm I need a Nikon. I think these are awesome creepy creatures. I remember when I had to have grandma Del come over and kill one when I was 21, she was 65. Now I have to kill em all by myself since she’s gone. She taught me well. But that’s exactly why the guy comes every month to spray , oh yeah that and the ants.
HATE THEM.
I have perfected lying to my child. It’s an art.
OMG!!!!!!!!!
How could you take a pix of that ugly thing….YUCKKKKKKY!!!!!
I can’t hardly look at it, You do have to change your blog pix.
PLEASE!!!!!
Holy CRAP! I have a daughter who is deathly afraid of spiders but she doesn’t want us to kill them. We just have to make them go outside!
I, too, have perfected the art of “lying” to my children.
I will definitely have to use that line “I found it on the Internet” to see how far it takes me! LMAO!
I’m still shuddering at that photo! I’m glad to have never run across a Recluse in CA, I think they are worse than Black Widows!
YIKES!
I am glad nobody at your house was bitten by that thing.
Such a vibrant red on that hourglass shape on her abdomen. Like a message to – Get away as quickly as possible…
I haven’t seen a widow in years…since I lived in AZ. There we had widows, tarantulas and scorpions to tend to. Never pick anything up and put your hand under it, ’cause that’s where the critters go to hide…and shoes always got whacked out before being put on….
Ha…funny. It’d be real nice to be able to tell my boss I need the day off because I saw it on the internet.
If only it’d work.
Like you, I’d be very afraid of the spider.
That is a wonderful picture. I have never seen one of those exact kinds–and I am thankful for that.
So bleach does not kill them? Wow.
Oh my GOD, I hate spiders!!!!
That is an awesome picture. Totally creeps me out but still a great shot.
EWWW GUHROSS !! BUT …..that is one kick ass picture ! Please tell me you used a macro lens so you didnt have to get THAT close !
I love being an “on the spot liar” ! We moms are so damn creative !
Gaarooosss!!!! I’m all itchy and twitchy now.
I’m gonna try that “cause the internet said so” and see how far it gets me. Thanks.
uh, spiders freak me out, too. i probably would have screamed until someone took care of it. brave you for taking a picture first.
Oh man! I was just getting ready for bed… where the f**k did I put my xanax???
That is so wrong. Please tell me the dog dish was outside! I would have to move if I saw something like that.
That’s just damn scary. I call my neighbor to kill my spiders. I am so petrified over them that I really think I should dicuss this issue at my next therapy appt. I can’t even look at the picture.. :(
Are there spiders in Ireland as well?? :o)