{"id":923,"date":"2006-02-14T23:18:12","date_gmt":"2006-02-15T06:18:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=923"},"modified":"2006-04-05T14:43:09","modified_gmt":"2006-04-05T21:43:09","slug":"113998789206762737","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=923","title":{"rendered":"113998789206762737"},"content":{"rendered":"
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When I was 18 years old I became a step parent.<\/p>\n

This was one the hardest roads I would ever have to take. I questioned if I would be able to do it. Honestly, I think I did a crappy job of it.<\/p>\n

I was selfish. Being #2 in someone’s life wasn’t something I was comfortable being.<\/p>\n

Those first few years were the hardest. I thought I was doing the right thing by everyone, but the reality of it was I was hurting my ex, his son and his son’s mother. I didn’t want him to be walked on and I fought and pushed him to stand up for himself.<\/p>\n

I wasn’t ready to step back and let him form the relationship he needed to form on his own.
\n“You need to do this…You need to that…”<\/p>\n

I use to say, “i’m not trying to be his mother.” but the reality was, I wanted that. I wanted to be his mom. Sometimes it wasn’t enough just being a step-mom. I regret that, because my actions were selfish and immature. Ryan had a mother and even if I didn’t believe in the things she said and did, It wasn’t my place to push and pull.<\/p>\n

I’m sorry Kiddo. I’ve always loved you Ryan. You taught me more things about myself than I ever thought I could learn.<\/p>\n

It wasn’t until last year in the car ride home from Marine World that we had the first real conversation in the 14 years I’ve been apart of your life. I guess I never really knew you. I never thought to ask you what you thought, because I was afaid of what you would say.<\/p>\n

Now, now that your dad and I aren’t together and i’m moving into a different part of my life, I realize how much I’m not ready to let you go as my step son. You prepared me for the person I am today. I want to joke with you and connect with you so I don’t lose you forever.<\/p>\n

I hope that someday we can sit down and you can tell me everything you have stored up in your head and heart. I think I might be mature enough to hear it now.<\/p>\n

I’m proud of you. I am so proud that you became the person you are despite everything you’ve been through, heard and seen. You’re smart, loving and damn funny.<\/p>\n

Happy Birthday Kiddo.<\/p>\n

and happy birthday to one of the greatest friends we both share, Chelsea.
\nMy beautiful friend, Lisa did a bang up job as a mother to raise someone that is a role model to every person that she comes in contact with. She’s my role model too.<\/p>\n

Must be something about people born the day after Valentine’s Day…they have all the left over love cupid didn’t use.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I was 18 years old I became a step parent. This was one the hardest roads I would ever have to take. I questioned if I would be able to do it. Honestly, I think I did a crappy job of it. I was selfish. Being #2 in someone’s life wasn’t something I was comfortable being. Those first few years were the hardest. I thought I was doing the right thing by everyone, but the reality of it was I was hurting my ex, his son and his son’s mother. I didn’t want him to be walked on and I fought and pushed him to stand up for himself. I wasn’t ready to step back and let him form the relationship he needed to form on his own. “You need to do this…You need to that…” I use to say, “i’m not trying to be his mother.” but the reality was, I wanted that. I wanted to be his mom. Sometimes it wasn’t enough just being a step-mom. I regret that, because my actions were selfish and immature. Ryan had a mother and even if I didn’t believe in the things she said and did, It wasn’t my place to push and pull. I’m sorry Kiddo. I’ve always loved you Ryan. You taught me more things about myself than I ever thought I could learn. It wasn’t until last year in the car ride home from Marine World that we had the first real conversation in the 14 years I’ve been apart of your life. I guess I never really knew you. I never thought to ask you what you thought, because I was afaid of what you would say. Now, now that your dad and I aren’t together and i’m moving into a different part of my life, I realize how much I’m not ready to let you go as my step son. You prepared me for the person I am today. I want to joke with you and connect with you so I don’t lose you forever. I hope that someday we can sit down and you can tell me everything you have stored up in your head and heart. I think I might be mature enough to hear it now. I’m proud of you. I am so proud that you became the person you are despite everything you’ve been through, heard and seen. You’re smart, loving and damn funny. Happy Birthday Kiddo. and happy birthday to one of the greatest friends we both share, Chelsea. My beautiful friend, Lisa did a bang up job as a mother to raise someone that is a role model to every person that she comes in contact with. She’s my role model too. Must be something about people born the day after Valentine’s Day…they have all the left over love cupid didn’t use.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-923","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/923","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=923"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/923\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=923"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=923"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=923"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}