I got a phone call today. It went something like this:<\/p>\n
Ring (that’s usually how it starts)<\/p>\n
ME: “Hello, this is Kristine.”<\/p>\n
MY COZY COMFIES: “Uh, hi. It’s me, your flannel pajama bottoms.”<\/p>\n
Blink…blink…<\/p>\n
ME: “Hi.”<\/p>\n
MY COZY COMFIES: “the reason i’m calling is, well…me and the fuzzy socks were laying here on the floor where you left us this morning…and we, uh..well…we were wondering when you were coming home.”<\/p>\n
ME: (crouching down so no one in the office could see me or hear me talking to my britches) “I’ll be home later.”<\/p>\n
MY COZY COMFIES: “Promise?”<\/p>\n
ME: “I promise.”<\/p>\n
MY COZY COMFIES: “You’re not going to go out with [name removed per request] tonight and go to Bingo are you? Cause you came home that one night and we thought you were staying….STOP IT, IM ON THE PHONE!…where was I?”<\/p>\n
ME: “Who were you yelling at?”<\/p>\n
MY COZY COMFIES: “The big baggy t-shirt. He wants to know what time. He wants a exact minute.”<\/p>\n
ME: “Am I going crazy?”<\/p>\n
MY COZY COMFIES: “I don’t think so.” (shuffling sounds from the background) “Oh, the mismatched fuzzy socks said that yes, you are crazy.”<\/p>\n
ME: “I’ve really gotta go now.”<\/p>\n
MY COZY COMFIES: “I miss you.”<\/p>\n
blink…blink.<\/p>\n
ME: “OH God I miss you too!”<\/p>\n
MY COZY COMFIES: “You say bye first.”<\/p>\n
I’m not answering my phone tomorrow.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I got a phone call today. It went something like this: Ring (that’s usually how it starts) ME: “Hello, this is Kristine.” MY COZY COMFIES: “Uh, hi. It’s me, your flannel pajama bottoms.” Blink…blink… ME: “Hi.” MY COZY COMFIES: “the reason i’m calling is, well…me and the fuzzy socks were laying here on the floor where you left us this morning…and we, uh..well…we were wondering when you were coming home.” ME: (crouching down so no one in the office could see me or hear me talking to my britches) “I’ll be home later.” MY COZY COMFIES: “Promise?” ME: “I promise.” MY COZY COMFIES: “You’re not going to go out with [name removed per request] tonight and go to Bingo are you? Cause you came home that one night and we thought you were staying….STOP IT, IM ON THE PHONE!…where was I?” ME: “Who were you yelling at?” MY COZY COMFIES: “The big baggy t-shirt. He wants to know what time. He wants a exact minute.” ME: “Am I going crazy?” MY COZY COMFIES: “I don’t think so.” (shuffling sounds from the background) “Oh, the mismatched fuzzy socks said that yes, you are crazy.” ME: “I’ve really gotta go now.” MY COZY COMFIES: “I miss you.” blink…blink. ME: “OH God I miss you too!” MY COZY COMFIES: “You say bye first.” I’m not answering my phone tomorrow.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-90","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=90"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=90"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=90"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=90"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}