{"id":699,"date":"2005-09-13T21:55:00","date_gmt":"2005-09-14T04:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=699"},"modified":"2006-04-04T22:11:05","modified_gmt":"2006-04-05T05:11:05","slug":"i-can-breatheeeeeeeeeeee-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=699","title":{"rendered":"I can breatheeeeeeeeeeee again!"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a><\/p>\n

It feels so good to not be scared anymore.<\/p>\n

I went to the furniture store to go lick the couch I have had my eye on for awhile. I just stood there and told it, “You’re going home with me. I can finally free you of this overstuffed warehouse.”<\/p>\n

My friend ‘Cita then looked at me like I was crazy. Not because I was talking to the couch, but because the couch I picked out was HUGE.
\n“Kristine, that’s not going to fit in your living room.”
\n“Sure it will.” I’m always right, so I tell the couch, “Don’t listen to her, she’s just being a big ol’ party pooper.”
\n“Kristine.” She took the ‘No, you’re not right’ tone, “The couch is WAH-Haaaaayyy too big for your living room. Let’s just measure it and then go home and measure your living room…just to be sure.”<\/p>\n

‘Cita knows me. She should know by now that if the couch doesn’t fit…we buy a shoe horn and MAKE it fit. I licked the couch. It’s going home with me NOW…not later. I’m not a ‘later’ type of person. Because she’s been right a couple of times in the past, I decide to take her advise.<\/p>\n

Guess what? The couch doesn’t fit. It doesn’t even come CLOSE to fitting. I was wron-cough-g.<\/p>\n

In order to ease the pain of not bringing home a 120 foot by 120 foot couch, I went and bought the macro lens.<\/p>\n

*curtsy*<\/p>\n

The picture above, it’s a dog bone. ISN’T THAT FUCKING COOL!?<\/p>\n

I got something in the mail today from William and Lauren. I’m going to post the pictures in the morning. SO cute. You’re all going to be running over to Poop and Boogies<\/a> begging for some of her home made stuff.
\n(I can’t post a picture of the pillows…my mom will steal them)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It feels so good to not be scared anymore. I went to the furniture store to go lick the couch I have had my eye on for awhile. I just stood there and told it, “You’re going home with me. I can finally free you of this overstuffed warehouse.” My friend ‘Cita then looked at me like I was crazy. Not because I was talking to the couch, but because the couch I picked out was HUGE. “Kristine, that’s not going to fit in your living room.” “Sure it will.” I’m always right, so I tell the couch, “Don’t listen to her, she’s just being a big ol’ party pooper.” “Kristine.” She took the ‘No, you’re not right’ tone, “The couch is WAH-Haaaaayyy too big for your living room. Let’s just measure it and then go home and measure your living room…just to be sure.” ‘Cita knows me. She should know by now that if the couch doesn’t fit…we buy a shoe horn and MAKE it fit. I licked the couch. It’s going home with me NOW…not later. I’m not a ‘later’ type of person. Because she’s been right a couple of times in the past, I decide to take her advise. Guess what? The couch doesn’t fit. It doesn’t even come CLOSE to fitting. I was wron-cough-g. In order to ease the pain of not bringing home a 120 foot by 120 foot couch, I went and bought the macro lens. *curtsy* The picture above, it’s a dog bone. ISN’T THAT FUCKING COOL!? I got something in the mail today from William and Lauren. I’m going to post the pictures in the morning. SO cute. You’re all going to be running over to Poop and Boogies begging for some of her home made stuff. (I can’t post a picture of the pillows…my mom will steal them)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-699","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=699"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=699"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=699"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=699"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}