{"id":567,"date":"2005-08-10T15:46:00","date_gmt":"2005-08-10T22:46:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=567"},"modified":"2005-08-10T15:46:00","modified_gmt":"2005-08-10T22:46:00","slug":"112371446393401957","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=567","title":{"rendered":"112371446393401957"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"What's<\/a><\/p>\n

I called my girlfriend on her cell phone last night. I knew she wasn’t home from Cancun yet, but I had to whine.
\nAfter her chirpy voicemail message, “‘Cita…” (By the way, you have to read this in the most horrible whiney voice EVER, ” ‘Cita, I know you’re not home. I know. I know. I know. I need you to be home. I need you to pick up your phone. I’m going crazy. CRA-HAY-HAY-HAY..ZEEEEE.”<\/p>\n

She called me this morning. “You okay?”<\/p>\n

*the sound of angels singing in harmony*<\/p>\n

I burst into tears. “nooooooooooooo.” The sound of my sniffling back the post crying snot probably made her feel so much better to come back home. Home to the crazy.<\/p>\n

“Bingo?”<\/p>\n

SNIFF. “yeah.” Sniffle.<\/p>\n

Now if there were just a way that I could get Shaun to come home early so I can leave by 5 pm.
\nIf there were just a way….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I called my girlfriend on her cell phone last night. I knew she wasn’t home from Cancun yet, but I had to whine. After her chirpy voicemail message, “‘Cita…” (By the way, you have to read this in the most horrible whiney voice EVER, ” ‘Cita, I know you’re not home. I know. I know. I know. I need you to be home. I need you to pick up your phone. I’m going crazy. CRA-HAY-HAY-HAY..ZEEEEE.” She called me this morning. “You okay?” *the sound of angels singing in harmony* I burst into tears. “nooooooooooooo.” The sound of my sniffling back the post crying snot probably made her feel so much better to come back home. Home to the crazy. “Bingo?” SNIFF. “yeah.” Sniffle. Now if there were just a way that I could get Shaun to come home early so I can leave by 5 pm. If there were just a way….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-567","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/567","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=567"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/567\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=567"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=567"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=567"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}