{"id":470,"date":"2005-07-12T13:09:00","date_gmt":"2005-07-12T20:09:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=470"},"modified":"2006-04-04T11:12:16","modified_gmt":"2006-04-04T18:12:16","slug":"this-post-contains-the-word-i-way-too-much-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=470","title":{"rendered":"This post contains the word ‘I’ WAY too much"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a><\/p>\n

I need a vacation. I need one of those serious vacations. The kind that you have to actually buy new clothes for. The kind that you buy ‘travel toothpaste’ and little plastic containers.<\/p>\n

I want to shove my suitcase full of stuff and run around franticly trying to remember all the little details. Did I remember to pack my sensible shoes? Did I pack my Xanax?<\/p>\n

A plane. I want to get on a plane and try to find the best spot to view the runway as I am landing. I want to hear the lady give the instructions on using the stale fart cushions as a floating device if the plane makes a ‘water landing’.<\/p>\n

I want to be able to think, “I might need to use this stale fart cushion as a flotation device because for once I AM FLYING OVER WATER!”<\/p>\n

I want to get off the plane and see all the cool people waiting for their friends & relatives. Smell the really cool ‘other places’ smell. Get horribly lost in the airport and have to search for my bags.<\/p>\n

I need this. I can’t afford this, but I need this.<\/p>\n

I need a vacation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I need a vacation. I need one of those serious vacations. The kind that you have to actually buy new clothes for. The kind that you buy ‘travel toothpaste’ and little plastic containers. I want to shove my suitcase full of stuff and run around franticly trying to remember all the little details. Did I remember to pack my sensible shoes? Did I pack my Xanax? A plane. I want to get on a plane and try to find the best spot to view the runway as I am landing. I want to hear the lady give the instructions on using the stale fart cushions as a floating device if the plane makes a ‘water landing’. I want to be able to think, “I might need to use this stale fart cushion as a flotation device because for once I AM FLYING OVER WATER!” I want to get off the plane and see all the cool people waiting for their friends & relatives. Smell the really cool ‘other places’ smell. Get horribly lost in the airport and have to search for my bags. I need this. I can’t afford this, but I need this. I need a vacation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-470","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/470","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=470"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/470\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=470"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=470"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=470"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}