{"id":401,"date":"2005-06-21T08:58:00","date_gmt":"2005-06-21T15:58:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=401"},"modified":"2006-04-04T10:10:52","modified_gmt":"2006-04-04T17:10:52","slug":"i-want-to-talk-about-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=401","title":{"rendered":"I want to talk about sex…"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a><\/p>\n

…but I’m not going to. I just want to talk about sex. I think it’s because I had the ‘fucked up’ dream I have once every five years. It’s the dream where I find out the person I am having sex with has a detachable penis.<\/p>\n

I don’t know what causes me to have this dream. The first time I had it I was about 16.
\nIn this dream I get up and go to the bathroom and when I pull down my pants…A PENIS.
\nFor some reason I think, “I have a penis, I need to take a bath.” While in the bath examining my new penis my mom knocks on the door. I take off the penis and put it in a Kleenex box.
\n(I’m thrilled by the amount of times I used the word ‘penis’ in that last paragraph…or run-on sentence)<\/p>\n

Last night I had the dream again, but the moments UP to and AFTER the discovery that the penis was detachable are very foggy.
\nThe only part of this dream that I remember was holding the penis and looking at it saying,<\/p>\n

“But, how do you get it to stay on?”<\/p>\n

:::Laughter:::<\/p>\n

“Magnets.”<\/p>\n

I can’t be the only person in the world that has dreams about detachable penises.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

…but I’m not going to. I just want to talk about sex. I think it’s because I had the ‘fucked up’ dream I have once every five years. It’s the dream where I find out the person I am having sex with has a detachable penis. I don’t know what causes me to have this dream. The first time I had it I was about 16. In this dream I get up and go to the bathroom and when I pull down my pants…A PENIS. For some reason I think, “I have a penis, I need to take a bath.” While in the bath examining my new penis my mom knocks on the door. I take off the penis and put it in a Kleenex box. (I’m thrilled by the amount of times I used the word ‘penis’ in that last paragraph…or run-on sentence) Last night I had the dream again, but the moments UP to and AFTER the discovery that the penis was detachable are very foggy. The only part of this dream that I remember was holding the penis and looking at it saying, “But, how do you get it to stay on?” :::Laughter::: “Magnets.” I can’t be the only person in the world that has dreams about detachable penises.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-401","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/401","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=401"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/401\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=401"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=401"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=401"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}