Every morning at 4 am I wake up and all the bullshit of my life wakes me up and screams in my face.
\nI’ve been up since 4 and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t go back to sleep because my anxiety decided it was time to catch up on all the things it thinks are important.
\nI’ve got a vacation coming up that was not one that I had planned, but was presented to me where I get to be a passenger princess.\u00a0 There has never in my life been a vacation or even a simple road trip that I didn’t plan.
\nMy travel agent did the leg work on both of my trips to Ireland, and the third one I planned it out.\u00a0 \u00a0The first trip I was a co-pilot and I was prepared for everything.\u00a0 The second trip I was suppose to just sit back and enjoy, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to and I kept all the information in a book and good thing I did, because the person that should have done all that…did not do any of it.
\nThe third trip I knew I was going to be the one that had to do everything and I was okay with it.
\nTHIS trip I don’t know shit.\u00a0 I handed over my credit card for the airline ticket and told Mick, “just get me there and I will be fine.”
\nI didn’t really have any expectations of traveling in 2024 because I am planning my trip to Scotland for 2025 and that’s going to be a doozy, but when life presents you with a chance to have an adventure where you have NO idea what you’re doing….you take it.
\nMy brain at 4am though decided to brain-nap me and throw me in car where it drove me through all the anxieties I live with and shouted “SEE! THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T DESERVE GOOD THINGS!” and then before it tossed me out on the road it said, “Oh yeah, here’s a mental image you might want to dwell on for the next few days until I can come up with a better one…that might be real or might just be a fanciful one I came up with.”
\nSo just like it was designed to, I dwelled. I regretted. I ruminated. I did not fall back to sleep.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Every morning at 4 am I wake up and all the bullshit of my life wakes me up and screams in my face. I’ve been up since 4 and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t go back to sleep because my anxiety decided it was time to catch up on all the things…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3888","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3888","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3888"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3888\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3890,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3888\/revisions\/3890"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3888"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3888"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3888"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}