{"id":3005,"date":"2016-06-28T13:48:19","date_gmt":"2016-06-28T20:48:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=3005"},"modified":"2016-06-28T13:48:19","modified_gmt":"2016-06-28T20:48:19","slug":"quest","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=3005","title":{"rendered":"quest."},"content":{"rendered":"

It feels like I am at a stop sign to a busy street and instead of trying to find a spot to get in, i\u2019m sitting there staring off into space with no interest to move forward.<\/span><\/p>\n

There is a girl power- fight song on the radio and I know I should be able to let all this go, but it\u2019s wrapped around me like a blanket. \u00a0I have no interest in fighting this sadness.<\/span><\/p>\n

The lyrics of the song is still poking me. \u00a0Yes, I know…shake it off, pull yourself into the light you belong and stop having your wishbone where you oughta have a backbone. \u00a0Lyrics, songs, memes, all of them flooding me and trying to build myself back up from the ruins of the life I actively participated in. <\/span>
\n<\/span>There is a gap in the traffic. No. I am not leaving this stop light until I figure out where I am going. <\/span>
\n<\/span>I can\u2019t go back, that\u2019s not an option. Moving forward and seeing myself past the next 60 seconds seems like an impossible task. <\/span>
\n<\/span>People are waving me in, \u201cCome on, there is plenty of room for you.\u201d <\/span>
\n<\/span>All I have to do is just move forward, but i\u2019m shaking my head violently NO. NO I CAN\u2019T! I can’t leave here because if I leave here…I can\u2019t ever come back. \u00a0<\/span>
\n<\/span>No. I can\u2019t ever come back anyway so why I am waiting here? Why am I actively putting myself in a waiting room?<\/span>
\n<\/span>Someone is going to pull up behind me and I am going to have to move. Oh God, please don\u2019t make me move from this spot. Please God, get me out of this spot.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It feels like I am at a stop sign to a busy street and instead of trying to find a spot to get in, i\u2019m sitting there staring off into space with no interest to move forward. There is a girl power- fight song on the radio and I know I should be able to let all this go, but it\u2019s wrapped around me like a blanket. \u00a0I have no interest in fighting this sadness. The lyrics of the song is still poking me. \u00a0Yes, I know…shake it off, pull yourself into the light you belong and stop having your wishbone where you oughta have a backbone. \u00a0Lyrics, songs, memes, all of them flooding me and trying to build myself back up from the ruins of the life I actively participated in. There is a gap in the traffic. No. I am not leaving this stop light until I figure out where I am going. I can\u2019t go back, that\u2019s not an option. Moving forward and seeing myself past the next 60 seconds seems like an impossible task. People are waving me in, \u201cCome on, there is plenty of room for you.\u201d All I have to do is just move forward, but i\u2019m shaking my head violently NO. NO I CAN\u2019T! I can’t leave here because if I leave here…I can\u2019t ever come back. \u00a0 No. I can\u2019t ever come back anyway so why I am waiting here? Why am I actively putting myself in a waiting room? Someone is going to pull up behind me and I am going to have to move. Oh God, please don\u2019t make me move from this spot. Please God, get me out of this spot.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3005","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3005","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3005"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3005\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3006,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3005\/revisions\/3006"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3005"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3005"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3005"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}