{"id":2992,"date":"2016-06-18T21:23:54","date_gmt":"2016-06-19T04:23:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=2992"},"modified":"2016-06-18T21:23:54","modified_gmt":"2016-06-19T04:23:54","slug":"i-keep-waiting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=2992","title":{"rendered":"I keep waiting"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/27481142140_dfea399d89_b.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-2993\" src=\"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/27481142140_dfea399d89_b.jpg\" alt=\"27481142140_dfea399d89_b\" width=\"327\" height=\"581\" srcset=\"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/27481142140_dfea399d89_b.jpg 576w, http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/27481142140_dfea399d89_b-169x300.jpg 169w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 327px) 100vw, 327px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I threw out my back two days before leaving for Kauai. \u00a0I was hoping to use this time to get stronger and get over all the bullshit I have going on in my head, but I am spending the majority of the time learning how to sit down and stand up without crying in pain.<br \/>\nEverything happens for a reason, this I know for certainty. \u00a0The saying always pisses me off because it means that I am in the process of learning something I don&#8217;t want to learn.<br \/>\nI got a text and a phone call, most of which I don&#8217;t remember because I was highly medicated on pain killers, but the one thing I do remember is asking the one question that holds whatever future we might have and he didn&#8217;t want to answer it so I know that means that nothing really has changed.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t want to be here and be sad. Yet here I am&#8230;sad. \u00a0Sad because I was suppose to be holding his hand and walking along the beach. So far I have just sat there and looked out at the beach. \u00a0Maybe tonight I will walk out there. \u00a0I don&#8217;t know.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; I threw out my back two days before leaving for Kauai. \u00a0I was hoping to use this time to get stronger and get over all the bullshit I have going on in my head, but I am spending the majority of the time learning how to sit down and stand up without crying in pain. Everything happens for a reason, this I know for certainty. \u00a0The saying always pisses me off because it means that I am in the process of learning something I don&#8217;t want to learn. I got a text and a phone call, most of which I don&#8217;t remember because I was highly medicated on pain killers, but the one thing I do remember is asking the one question that holds whatever future we might have and he didn&#8217;t want to answer it so I know that means that nothing really has changed. I don&#8217;t want to be here and be sad. Yet here I am&#8230;sad. \u00a0Sad because I was suppose to be holding his hand and walking along the beach. So far I have just sat there and looked out at the beach. \u00a0Maybe tonight I will walk out there. \u00a0I don&#8217;t know.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2992","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2992","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2992"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2992\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2995,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2992\/revisions\/2995"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2992"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2992"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2992"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}