after a few days of trying to hold it together i am ready to just let it all go.<\/p>\n
It’s not something we talk about because…it’s just not what we do. \u00a0Everyone thinks I ‘overshare’ or I am some extrovert but the truth is, I was raised in a family with alcoholics and we are fiercely private about our lives. \u00a0Living in a small town growing up you know not to open your mouth and tell anyone your secrets.<\/p>\n
holding it together is getting a little bit harder ever single day though.<\/p>\n
We don’t let people see our weaknesses either. We never ask for help because that usually just comes back to haunt us…which it has twice in the past week. \u00a0I ask for advice and that information gets spread to someone who has a huge fucking mouth and is now spreading MY family secrets to people that have no right knowing. \u00a0The other time I ask for help…to be held after something very traumatic and It gets turned around on me that I should have known what I was getting into. \u00a0Never again will I ask for help. \u00a0Never again will someone see me weak and scared.<\/p>\n
i’m holding it together for my kids. for my brothers and sister who are fighting this battle along side of me. the difference…they have someone they can turn to and cry and tell their secret fears and know their secret is safe. \u00a0 me though…i’m holding this one in all by myself. \u00a0NO ONE will see these tears.
\nwith every phone call and update I hold it together. \u00a0In the quiet hours I have to myself I don’t let my mind wander to the past when things were alright and we all use to laugh and think about what the future has in store for us…but sometimes it does and It takes my breath away and I weep.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I’m holding it together.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
after a few days of trying to hold it together i am ready to just let it all go. It’s not something we talk about because…it’s just not what we do. \u00a0Everyone thinks I ‘overshare’ or I am some extrovert but the truth is, I was raised in a family with alcoholics and we are fiercely private about our lives. \u00a0Living in a small town growing up you know not to open your mouth and tell anyone your secrets. holding it together is getting a little bit harder ever single day though. We don’t let people see our weaknesses either. We never ask for help because that usually just comes back to haunt us…which it has twice in the past week. \u00a0I ask for advice and that information gets spread to someone who has a huge fucking mouth and is now spreading MY family secrets to people that have no right knowing. \u00a0The other time I ask for help…to be held after something very traumatic and It gets turned around on me that I should have known what I was getting into. \u00a0Never again will I ask for help. \u00a0Never again will someone see me weak and scared. i’m holding it together for my kids. for my brothers and sister who are fighting this battle along side of me. the difference…they have someone they can turn to and cry and tell their secret fears and know their secret is safe. \u00a0 me though…i’m holding this one in all by myself. \u00a0NO ONE will see these tears. with every phone call and update I hold it together. \u00a0In the quiet hours I have to myself I don’t let my mind wander to the past when things were alright and we all use to laugh and think about what the future has in store for us…but sometimes it does and It takes my breath away and I weep. I’m holding it together.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2853","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2853","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2853"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2853\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2854,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2853\/revisions\/2854"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2853"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2853"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2853"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}