{"id":2187,"date":"2011-05-13T15:04:04","date_gmt":"2011-05-13T22:04:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=2187"},"modified":"2011-05-13T15:05:55","modified_gmt":"2011-05-13T22:05:55","slug":"support-systemcheck","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=2187","title":{"rendered":"Support System…CHECK."},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a><\/p>\n

1305257296074.jpg<\/a>, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Since losing weight I have had a few things to contend with.
\nI can pop on down to the thrift store and get clothes that will do until I get to my goal weight.
\nI am the biggest offender of What Not To Wear, so I have always kept my wardrobe very basic.
\nThe one thing I have managed to ignore were my bras.\u00a0 Who cares? Who sees them anyway?
\nWell, that was question was answered when the guy I am in an intimacy exchange pointed out that he can fit his whole hand in there without touching fabric.
\nReally? Is he complaining? He has the opportunity to reach in there and he\u2019s complaining?
\nFor awhile I just ignored him until he finally said, \u201cWe need to do something about the boob support.\u201d
\nI looked down at the girls, \u201cIs it really THAT bad?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, according to him\u2026it was THAT bad.<\/p>\n

We went to the Mecca of boob support last night.\u00a0\u00a0 Again, twice in one month I am in a mall. My Plan: I would walk in and grab the first thing I saw and we could go.
\nThat isn\u2019t the case AT ALL.\u00a0 You need to have the \u201cspecialist\u201d fit you.\u00a0 My plan to pull up my shirt and say, \u201clike this, but better.\u201d Wasn\u2019t going to be executed.<\/p>\n

They put me in a good sized room with this massive floor length, framed mirror.\u00a0 The lighting wasn\u2019t too obnoxious. Perhaps I would be able to pull out of this without too much scaring.<\/p>\n

My hair looks good. My make up made it through the whole day. I need a new pair of shoes.<\/p>\n

The \u201cspecialist\u201d came in with her first set of bras. \u201cTry this one M\u2019KAY?\u201d\u00a0 She was the perkiest depressed woman I have ever met. How can she sound so happy with a look like she wanted to kill someone?
\nI tried on the first one. \u201cMa\u2019am\u2026uh\u2026no.\u201d\u00a0 She had suggest I get a D cup and I was only in a C to start with.\u00a0 She came in with three more to add to the pile she was making in my room. \u201cTry this one on first, M\u2019KAY?\u201d
\nm\u2019kay. I tried on the third and fourth and each one made me look like I was either trying to shove my girls into my daughter\u2019s bra or I was about to go jogging.
\nM\u2019KAY just stared at me as I stood there in the room with the big mirror sporting her signature line bra.\u00a0 She squinched up her nose to one side and squinted sideways as she tried to figure out where to go.\u00a0 \u201cB cup.\u201d She turned on her heel and headed out into the hardware store of bras.
\n\u201cB CUP!?! A B CUP! Oh this is NOT funny!\u201d\u00a0 My heart started to race.\u00a0 This was even less funny than hearing D cup.
\nShe came in and handed me the bra that I swear didn\u2019t have enough cuppage to hold the girls properly.\u00a0 \u201cTry this one on, M\u2019KAY?\u201d<\/p>\n

Fuck. I\u2019m a B cup now.<\/p>\n

Now to find the bra that would lift, tuck, squish and look like it should be on a 39 year old woman.<\/p>\n

While she was out on her mission to locate this mythical object I was standing in front of the mirror.\u00a0 Dear Lord, when did I get my mom\u2019s boobs?\u00a0\u00a0 Was it last night because the last time I checked they seemed to be holding up pretty good.
\nI tried pushing them up. Flat on the top. I tried lifting them from the top, THERE WE GO.\u00a0 Then I released and they hit the floor and bounced back up.\u00a0 FUCK.
\nYes, having three kids and age will do this to a woman\u2019s boobs, I get that, but WHEN DID IT HAPPEN?\u00a0 I swear to god, it was overnight!<\/p>\n

M\u2019KAY brought me about 5 more bras and just about when I finally got the hang of it, I found the right one.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis one. I\u2019ll take THIS one.\u201d\u00a0 I tossed it over the door and grabbed my old bra and put it on.\u00a0 \u201cOhhhh, this is what he\u2019s talking about!\u201d I looked down at them and felt sorry for the poor girls.\u00a0 My best bra was lacking in the support department.<\/p>\n

One last glance in the fun mirror of boob hell.\u00a0 \u201cWell, at least my hair and make up look good.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve decided as punishment of bra shopping, I will be sitting in the waiting room with a snide smile when he goes in for his colonoscopy.\u00a0 It seems fair.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1305257296074.jpg, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single. Since losing weight I have had a few things to contend with. I can pop on down to the thrift store and get clothes that will do until I get to my goal weight. I am the biggest offender of What Not To Wear, so I have always kept…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2187","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2187","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2187"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2187\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2187"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2187"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2187"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}