Kara had a rerun of this show on and the main character said, “We make boundaries and we find out that they don’t keep people out, they keep us boxed in.”<\/p>\n
I think the lesson I have forgotten that I held so dear to me is that this life of ours, it’s short.\u00a0 In the big picture of things, we are only here for a short time.\u00a0 Kara said, “In 90 something days…I’m going to be 18 years old.”\u00a0 It was another reminder of how quickly our time here is.\u00a0 It wasn’t that long ago that I was looking at her little baby fingers in the hospital and in awe of how delicate she was.\u00a0 Now those hands are creating beautiful things, driving a car and holding the hand of the man she loves.\u00a0 This life goes by so fast.\u00a0 What am I doing with each day of it?<\/p>\n
Lately I haven’t been doing enough.\u00a0 This last week has been spent stressing about Alyx being so sick.\u00a0 There isn’t anything I can do to help her but watch her and make sure she’s breathing. It’s frustrating as hell.
\nIn between stressing about Alyx, I have been stressing about Christmas.
\nAgain…did I do enough? get enough? will the girls be happy or disappointed on Christmas morning?<\/p>\n
I’ve also been reading the bible.\u00a0 It’s a hard task to break through the walls I have built up about organized religion. His word use to soothe me and give me hope.\u00a0 There will be a break through, I know there will be. Right now, I am trying to not question the words I am reading. The reminder that I need peace in this life is around me every day.\u00a0 I want happiness again and I have failed to find it on my own.<\/p>\n
Patrick left for home to visit his family for the holidays.\u00a0 Kara is sad and I understand that feeling of void she has.\u00a0 The difference is she knows the man that loves her is coming home soon.\u00a0 Until then though, she looks like me. She’s just a shell of the woman she is when he’s around.\u00a0 She has a purpose when he’s near.
\nIn a few days she will find her footing again and will find her smile again.<\/p>\n
I’m still finding my footing, but I keep stumbling.\u00a0 My smiles and laughter will be back soon too.
\nThat’s really all I want for Christmas. To laugh. To smile. To have hope that I can stop getting in my own way of happiness.<\/p>\n
and a pair of jumper cables too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Kara had a rerun of this show on and the main character said, “We make boundaries and we find out that they don’t keep people out, they keep us boxed in.” I think the lesson I have forgotten that I held so dear to me is that this life of ours, it’s short.\u00a0 In the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2093","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2093","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2093"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2093\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2093"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2093"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2093"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}