{"id":1932,"date":"2009-07-17T13:58:22","date_gmt":"2009-07-17T20:58:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=1932"},"modified":"2009-07-17T13:58:22","modified_gmt":"2009-07-17T20:58:22","slug":"i-just-do-what-the-monkey-tells-me-to-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=1932","title":{"rendered":"I just do what the Monkey tells me to do&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Not knowing exactly what to expect, but having actually jumped from a plane, I didn&#8217;t think the wind tunnel was going to be that difficult.<br \/>\nOh.How.Wrong.I.Was.<\/p>\n<p>Fifteen minutes doesn&#8217;t sound that long, but by the 4th round of 2 minute sessions I was nearly in tears.\u00a0\u00a0 I was frustrated that I didn&#8217;t &#8216;get it&#8217; the first 12 seconds in.\u00a0 I was pissed because my instructor kept telling me to relax.<br \/>\nRelax? ARE YOU SERIOUS? DUDE&#8230;I AM JUMPING OUT OF FUCKING PLANE&#8230;THERE ARE THINGS I NEED TO KNOW!<br \/>\nCome to find out after 15 minutes and some awesome coaching from experienced formation and wingsuit jumpers&#8230;.I just needed to relax and have fun.<br \/>\n&#8220;Quit over thinking it. Get in there and float, smile, feel the wind and when you start getting potato chipy&#8211;breath and push your bush.&#8221; and he thrusts his hips out and wiggles his eyebrows.<\/p>\n<p>I fell into the wind tunnel the last couple of times and turned myself to look out to the observation deck and saw the guy with the nickname &#8216;Monkey&#8217; and he just kept grinning like a mad man which made me laugh and when he thrust his hips out, I did the same and low and behold&#8230;the arch stabilized my body and I was more in control.<\/p>\n<p>John kept reassuring me that I was doing great and each time I wanted to slap his helmet and say, &#8220;I AM NOT!&#8221; but he was probably right seeing he has done this many more times than I have. \u00a0 At the end of the session I told him, &#8220;I did better when I listened to the Monkey.&#8221;<br \/>\nI was excited to get the instructions I did and John got some new tips on turning that he was happy about.\u00a0 All in all it was a pretty successful trip to ifly.<\/p>\n<p>On the way home I could tell I was going to have to spend some time on my hair.\u00a0 A skydive free fall lasts about 60 seconds.\u00a0 After one skydive it takes me an hour to be able to get my fingers through my hair.\u00a0 Yesterday I did the equivalent of 15 sky dives.\u00a0 I had the Something About Mary hair going on. \u00a0 Thinking it was only my bangs, I didn&#8217;t do anything about it and just passed out on the console on the way home.<br \/>\nThis morning I realized it was my whole head was a tangled mess. From the root to the tip, there wasn&#8217;t a lock of hair that wasn&#8217;t entangled with another.<\/p>\n<p>After the wash and deep conditioning I thought I would be able to just run a pic\/comb through it and be on my merry way. Not so much.<br \/>\nIt was taking so long that I had to throw it in a granny bun and figured I would detangle it at work.<br \/>\nIt took until NOON before I could run a comb through my hair without crying.<\/p>\n<p>Everything on my body hurts today. My eyelashes actually ache.\u00a0 120 mph winds for 15 minutes. \u00a0 There is NO way Dorthy and Toto could have survived that!<\/p>\n<p>Flying Monkeys can though&#8230;and do it smiling.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Not knowing exactly what to expect, but having actually jumped from a plane, I didn&#8217;t think the wind tunnel was going to be that difficult. Oh.How.Wrong.I.Was. Fifteen minutes doesn&#8217;t sound that long, but by the 4th round of 2 minute sessions I was nearly in tears.\u00a0\u00a0 I was frustrated that I didn&#8217;t &#8216;get it&#8217; the&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1932","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1932","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1932"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1932\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1932"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1932"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1932"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}