{"id":1896,"date":"2009-05-03T08:24:29","date_gmt":"2009-05-03T15:24:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=1896"},"modified":"2009-05-03T08:24:29","modified_gmt":"2009-05-03T15:24:29","slug":"you-couldnt-pay-me-to-own-that-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=1896","title":{"rendered":"You couldn&#8217;t pay me to own that one&#8230;."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3367\/3495485726_6726de89d7.jpg\" width=\"500\" height=\"333\" \/><br \/>\nI don&#8217;t want this to be my life! I don&#8217;t want to be this person I&#8217;m turning into.\u00a0 As every minute passes I am getting colder and colder. Last night I thought something to myself;\u00a0 I will never trust another person for as long as I live because I believed that someone knew ME, the real me, and despite my blinding flaws wanted to marry anyway.\u00a0 He had his mountain of baggage and hidden flaws and I agreed to love him for the rest of my life.\u00a0 Now it&#8217;s all bullshit.<br \/>\nOn our wedding day the only people in our wedding party was us and our kids. We were getting married as a family. He took those vows to all of us.\u00a0 He prided himself on being there for the kids and making them laugh when they were crying.\u00a0 He&#8217;s the one that is causing the tears and like an idiot-shit I am, I&#8217;m convincing the girls that they should go hang out with him..not for them, but for him.<\/p>\n<p>There are a few blessings I can find throughout the day.<\/p>\n<p>I was pretty certain that I had touched on every single emotion out there, but I figured out one that I won&#8217;t be feeling &#8230; <strong>Guilt<\/strong>. I am not feeling guilt.\u00a0 That one isn&#8217;t mine. I will not own that one.<br \/>\nThat shit will eat you up inside and at least I can fall asleep at night with that fiery guilt and shame coursing through my body.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I don&#8217;t want this to be my life! I don&#8217;t want to be this person I&#8217;m turning into.\u00a0 As every minute passes I am getting colder and colder. Last night I thought something to myself;\u00a0 I will never trust another person for as long as I live because I believed that someone knew ME, the&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1896","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1896","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1896"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1896\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1896"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1896"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1896"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}