Just imagine, if you will, this scene;
\nMe and my girlfriend after a warm outting.\u00a0 Stopped at the pastry place and got some cherry danishes. Walking out to the car, pastries being shoved into our mouths at a sickening speed.
\nShe unlocks the door to her car. I put my purse and bag on the floor and plop into the seat.\u00a0 I was pretty certain that I might have sat on something, but wasn’t sure. I’m usually really good about not leaving things on her seats.
\nI maneuver myself into the leather seat, but I’m sort of ‘stuck’ in one spot…and that spot is sort of…cold.
\n“Nanc…I think I just blew my jeans out.”
\n“What?”
\n“My jeans, I think I just blew them out.”
\nI get out of the seat and stand up so she can see what I am talking about.
\nNow, it’s one of those moments where I wish I had a video camera trained on her face to capture the expression she had when she saw my right butt cheek hanging out of my pants.
\n“OH. MY. GOD!”\u00a0 Hysterical laughter following.
\nI sit back down, look at the danish and decide that it should probably go right back into the container.
\nThe thought of my ass busting out of my favorite jeans shouldn’t have been as hysterical as it was, but that was some funny shit.\u00a0 The timing was classic. Half eaten cherry danish in one hand, butt cheek hanging out.<\/p>\n
My new years resolution was making a point. LOUD AND CLEAR.<\/p>\n
“Oh, I should get a picture of THAT!”<\/p>\n
Uh. no. Funny, but not THAT funny.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Just imagine, if you will, this scene; Me and my girlfriend after a warm outting.\u00a0 Stopped at the pastry place and got some cherry danishes. Walking out to the car, pastries being shoved into our mouths at a sickening speed. She unlocks the door to her car. I put my purse and bag on the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1854","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1854","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1854"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1854\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1854"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1854"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1854"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}