{"id":1821,"date":"2008-12-01T22:41:02","date_gmt":"2008-12-02T05:41:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=1821"},"modified":"2008-12-01T22:41:02","modified_gmt":"2008-12-02T05:41:02","slug":"no-fing-way","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=1821","title":{"rendered":"NO F*ing WAY!"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

I have been wanting to say, “Fuck this shit” all day long. I’m not sure why, part of the cursing regime I am on.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, Alyx has been laying next to me all day and I have had to curb my nightly cursing to, “no, i love you more darn it.”
\nI figured since she was looming so closely, I wasn’t going to be able to do anything fun like play poker, leave anonymous hate mail or surf for porn…so the next best thing was going to read dooce<\/a>.\u00a0 With the new baby on the way, perhaps, JUST perhaps…I could read it quickly with hope of only an innuendo that Alyx wouldn’t understand.\u00a0 Nope. Right there in all caps. HANDJOB.\u00a0 *cringe* *scroll down, scroll down* *tilt screen away from Alyx*.<\/p>\n

Alyx says, “Hmm, mom?”
\nand I have to quickly change her direction of thinking and I click on the picture of Chuck, “LOOK, he has cheetos on his nose!”<\/p>\n

I should have just surfed for porn!<\/p>\n

So, with all that said.\u00a0 It’s fucking December already?\u00a0 WHO THE HELL FORGOT TO SEND ME THE MEMO?\u00a0 Finding out it’s December 1st through Twitter is never a way to be introduced to the month of hell.
\nThis means for one whole year, (after this month) I will have made one of those magazine covers every month.\u00a0 I stuck with something for one whole year.
\nI managed to stay on antibiotics for 6 months straight. Stilllll on ’em.\u00a0 Yes. STILL. Someone tell me that is NOT right.<\/p>\n

Hmmm, what does next year hold for me? What can I stick to next year?\u00a0 MAYBE next year will be the year that I can actually do something with the back yard? MAYBE it will be the year I catch up on all my bills? MAYBE it will be the year I donate all my organs for lab testing….oh wait, doing that already. MAYBE, maybe this upcoming year will be better than this year was. Because hands down, this year fucking sucked.\u00a0 Can I get an AMEN?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have been wanting to say, “Fuck this shit” all day long. I’m not sure why, part of the cursing regime I am on. Unfortunately, Alyx has been laying next to me all day and I have had to curb my nightly cursing to, “no, i love you more darn it.” I figured since she was looming so closely, I wasn’t going to be able to do anything fun like play poker, leave anonymous hate mail or surf for porn…so the next best thing was going to read dooce.\u00a0 With the new baby on the way, perhaps, JUST perhaps…I could read it quickly with hope of only an innuendo that Alyx wouldn’t understand.\u00a0 Nope. Right there in all caps. HANDJOB.\u00a0 *cringe* *scroll down, scroll down* *tilt screen away from Alyx*. Alyx says, “Hmm, mom?” and I have to quickly change her direction of thinking and I click on the picture of Chuck, “LOOK, he has cheetos on his nose!” I should have just surfed for porn! So, with all that said.\u00a0 It’s fucking December already?\u00a0 WHO THE HELL FORGOT TO SEND ME THE MEMO?\u00a0 Finding out it’s December 1st through Twitter is never a way to be introduced to the month of hell. This means for one whole year, (after this month) I will have made one of those magazine covers every month.\u00a0 I stuck with something for one whole year. I managed to stay on antibiotics for 6 months straight. Stilllll on ’em.\u00a0 Yes. STILL. Someone tell me that is NOT right. Hmmm, what does next year hold for me? What can I stick to next year?\u00a0 MAYBE next year will be the year that I can actually do something with the back yard? MAYBE it will be the year I catch up on all my bills? MAYBE it will be the year I donate all my organs for lab testing….oh wait, doing that already. MAYBE, maybe this upcoming year will be better than this year was. Because hands down, this year fucking sucked.\u00a0 Can I get an AMEN?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1821","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1821","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1821"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1821\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1821"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1821"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1821"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}