I had six hours on the car ride home and a couple of days (bad blogger! baaaad blogger!) to think about what I was going to write after my trip to Disneyland.<\/p>\n
When I say, “I spent three days in Disneyland with 5 kids.” I don’t think you quite understand the magnatude of that statement because I wouldn’t hear, “Oh HOW FUN. I bet you had a great time!”I think the response I want to hear is similar to if you heard I was having a brain transplant. “OH MY GOD! YOU ARE KIDDING ME RIGHT? HOLY CRAP! WHAT A BRAVE WOMAN YOU ARE!”<\/p>\n
Don’t get me wrong. I did have fun. I did have a great time. I also have NO hair left, a bleeding ulcer and don’t get me started on the aches and pains I am experiencing RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT.<\/p>\n
Mom, don’t read this next part.<\/p>\n
In high school I did LSD a couple of times. I was told “If you do that, years later you’ll have acid flashbacks that will scare the living hell out of you.”<\/p>\n
Disneyland for three days is much like that statement. I think in a few years I will be sitting in Bingo minding my own business and I am going to burst out in images of my daughter screaming “DON’T MAKE ME RIDE SPLASH MOUNTAIN. IF YOU LOVE ME YOU WON’T DO THIS TO ME!” I will see little dolls singing, “It’s a small world”, Chip and Dale chasing me around with a big camera and I will feel like I am caught in the longest line in the world with a guy that smells like ass in front of me.<\/p>\n
I will deserve this though. My six year old daughter’s first experience of Disneyland was The Haunted Mansion & Thunder Mountain Railroad. You would think we would have started her out on ‘It’s a Small World’, but even I wasn’t THAT brave.<\/p>\n
Okay Mom, you can start reading again.<\/p>\n
It was a great trip. I will do the ‘nice’ Disneyland blog on the kids Blog because hopefully if I write about all the fun they had and put in pictures as proof they will forget the THIRTY miles I made them walk, the sharing of soda because it cost 5 bucks a bottle, telling Shea that Splash Mountain was just the little train that went around the park. I won’t tell them that I lied about ‘Small World’ being broke down after our first trip through it so I wouldn’t be forced to go through it again.
\nI’m sure they will only remember the good stuff. If not I am going to be paying some therapist years down the road.<\/p>\n
Oh and Mom, you thought I was bad on that Thunder Mountain Railroad when I went! You should have seen your grand daughter trying to get off the thing after the first drop. It was classic shit and I now finally understand why you and dad thought that was the funniest thing you had ever seen when I tried to do the same thing. I finally understand your sadistic ways.<\/p>\n