This morning I was sitting here at the computer minding my own business when I saw a little bit of paper slip between the stove and the counter.<\/p>\n
“how odd.” I thought.<\/p>\n
Then I was sitting here a little while later and I was sitting her still minding my own business when I saw a mouse come OUT.OF.MY.STOVE!<\/p>\n
I was on the phone with the school nurse when the sucker decided to pop it’s fuzzy little head out. I screamed. I don’t know WHY I screamed, because it’s just a mouse and I’m not afraid of a mouse. I think it was more because it was coming OUT.OF.MY.STOVE!<\/p>\n
What did I do? I grabbed my camera, a chair and I waited. The camera at the perfect focus of the hole the thing came out of a few minutes earlier.
\nWell, I sat there for a good minute before I realized that it could come out underneath the stove so I got up and sat back down…on my feet. That little fucker isn’t going to creep out and scare me.<\/p>\n
I sat there a little bit longer and I realized it could be on the side of the fridge. I used the beam of blinding light that comes on when you auto-focus the Nikon to be able to see on the side of the fridge. Shit, I need to clean my stove AND my fridge. No mouse.<\/p>\n
I sat back down and waited. Hmmm. I bet that sucker is behind the toaster. I stood up and saw my reflection in the stove and FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. I jumped and started hitting the shutter button over and over. I got mad at myself of course for being such a wussy and sat back down. I sat and sat. Then like any crazy person would after sitting for 30 minutes waiting for a mouse to come out of the stove, I started mumbling to myself.<\/p>\n
And then I did it, I became paranoid. I started thinking I saw it by the coffee pot. Then on the floor. Then by the knives. Okay, I need to calm down.<\/p>\n
I walked away from the stove and sat down at the computer trying to decide if I should tell you this story. If I should admit that just a week before leaving for Disneyland I am plotting the death of a mouse. So as I am sitting here at the computer typing this I am doing so without looking away from the stove. The camera is on my lap in the on position.<\/p>\n
Wait, why do I need the camera again? Do I think if I take its picture it will throw it’s little paws up in the air and say, “Oh, you got me! I will leave peacefully and never come back.”?<\/p>\n
I’m pretty sure the Nikon has a button on it that will run the toaster, but I don’t think it has a “KILL THE FUCKING MOUSE” button.<\/p>\n
I’m going to Target to get some mouse traps!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This morning I was sitting here at the computer minding my own business when I saw a little bit of paper slip between the stove and the counter. “how odd.” I thought. Then I was sitting here a little while later and I was sitting her still minding my own business when I saw a mouse come OUT.OF.MY.STOVE! I was on the phone with the school nurse when the sucker decided to pop it’s fuzzy little head out. I screamed. I don’t know WHY I screamed, because it’s just a mouse and I’m not afraid of a mouse. I think it was more because it was coming OUT.OF.MY.STOVE! What did I do? I grabbed my camera, a chair and I waited. The camera at the perfect focus of the hole the thing came out of a few minutes earlier. Well, I sat there for a good minute before I realized that it could come out underneath the stove so I got up and sat back down…on my feet. That little fucker isn’t going to creep out and scare me. I sat there a little bit longer and I realized it could be on the side of the fridge. I used the beam of blinding light that comes on when you auto-focus the Nikon to be able to see on the side of the fridge. Shit, I need to clean my stove AND my fridge. No mouse. I sat back down and waited. Hmmm. I bet that sucker is behind the toaster. I stood up and saw my reflection in the stove and FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. I jumped and started hitting the shutter button over and over. I got mad at myself of course for being such a wussy and sat back down. I sat and sat. Then like any crazy person would after sitting for 30 minutes waiting for a mouse to come out of the stove, I started mumbling to myself. And then I did it, I became paranoid. I started thinking I saw it by the coffee pot. Then on the floor. Then by the knives. Okay, I need to calm down. I walked away from the stove and sat down at the computer trying to decide if I should tell you this story. If I should admit that just a week before leaving for Disneyland I am plotting the death of a mouse. So as I am sitting here at the computer typing this I am doing so without looking away from the stove. The camera is on my lap in the on position. Wait, why do I need the camera again? Do I think if I take its picture it will throw it’s little paws up in the air and say, “Oh, you got me! I will leave peacefully and never come back.”? I’m pretty sure the Nikon has a button on it that will run the toaster, but I don’t think it has a “KILL THE FUCKING MOUSE” button. I’m going to Target to get some mouse traps!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=166"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}