Thursday Dan came over to bring me a coffee. I got up with a mission. I was going to find ALL the scissors in the house.
\nAs he is rambling on about something about work, I was roaming the rooms and looking for sharp edges.<\/p>\n
“So I told Andrew that…” he would start.
\n“AH-HA! ANOTHER PAIR!” I ran for the little hiding place I had found to stash the scissors in.
\n“Anyway…this spreadsheet I have has these drop boxes….”
\n“I KNEW IT! TWO PAIRS IN HERE!” I skip to the container that now has THREE pairs of scissors in them.<\/p>\n
“What are you doing?” He finally realizes that I am not paying attention to him and more concerned with the container of bright colored scissors.
\n“I’m on a pilgrimage to find all the lost scissors in my house.” Duh.
\n“Why?” He asks, because the look of complete stupidity I am reflecting back at him isn’t an answer enough.
\n“Because Dan, if I can get the scissors back, I am closer to God.”<\/p>\n
He kicks his feet up on the bed from the desk chair he is sitting on and laughs at me…and then keeps talking about DMULX something or other that has to do with the cellular business he is in.<\/p>\n
“HOLY SHIT!” I come around the corner holding SCOTCH TAPE! “Dan…TAPE. I FOUND TAPE!” I think I might have done some happy dance of joy and sang a little bit. I don’t remember. That might have been the moment that I was touched by God himself.<\/p>\n
I sometimes wonder if he misses being married to me and that is why he comes over. Sorta like one of those birds at the pet store. You don’t want to own it because you know it will be loud and messy…but it’s fun to watch.<\/p>\n
After an hour of his rambling and my “AH-HA!”ing he stood up to leave. “Hey, there is a pair in the side drawer!” (The searching has become infectious)<\/p>\n
I crawl out from under the bed and look in the drawer. “Nope. Little sewing scissors don’t count, But thanks for validating my madness.”<\/p>\n
“If you happen to find a large pair of wire cutting scissors in your pilgrimage, those are mine.”<\/p>\n
“Find your own path to God, Dan. This is mine.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Thursday Dan came over to bring me a coffee. I got up with a mission. I was going to find ALL the scissors in the house. As he is rambling on about something about work, I was roaming the rooms and looking for sharp edges. “So I told Andrew that…” he would start. “AH-HA! ANOTHER PAIR!” I ran for the little hiding place I had found to stash the scissors in. “Anyway…this spreadsheet I have has these drop boxes….” “I KNEW IT! TWO PAIRS IN HERE!” I skip to the container that now has THREE pairs of scissors in them. “What are you doing?” He finally realizes that I am not paying attention to him and more concerned with the container of bright colored scissors. “I’m on a pilgrimage to find all the lost scissors in my house.” Duh. “Why?” He asks, because the look of complete stupidity I am reflecting back at him isn’t an answer enough. “Because Dan, if I can get the scissors back, I am closer to God.” He kicks his feet up on the bed from the desk chair he is sitting on and laughs at me…and then keeps talking about DMULX something or other that has to do with the cellular business he is in. “HOLY SHIT!” I come around the corner holding SCOTCH TAPE! “Dan…TAPE. I FOUND TAPE!” I think I might have done some happy dance of joy and sang a little bit. I don’t remember. That might have been the moment that I was touched by God himself. I sometimes wonder if he misses being married to me and that is why he comes over. Sorta like one of those birds at the pet store. You don’t want to own it because you know it will be loud and messy…but it’s fun to watch. After an hour of his rambling and my “AH-HA!”ing he stood up to leave. “Hey, there is a pair in the side drawer!” (The searching has become infectious) I crawl out from under the bed and look in the drawer. “Nope. Little sewing scissors don’t count, But thanks for validating my madness.” “If you happen to find a large pair of wire cutting scissors in your pilgrimage, those are mine.” “Find your own path to God, Dan. This is mine.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1514","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1514","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1514"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1514\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1514"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1514"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1514"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}