{"id":1494,"date":"2007-09-13T21:14:17","date_gmt":"2007-09-14T04:14:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=1494"},"modified":"2007-09-13T21:14:17","modified_gmt":"2007-09-14T04:14:17","slug":"ooochie-momma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=1494","title":{"rendered":"Ooochie Momma"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

Ode to my tooth:<\/p>\n

Toofer, please do not hurt anymore.
\nI have taken advantage of you.
\nI have treated you like a whore.<\/p>\n

I promise to brush
\nand keep you all clean.
\nI will floss all the junk
\nand remove all that is green.<\/p>\n

Oh toof of mine, stop hurting my head
\nthe pounding is making me twitch
\nand I wish I were dead.<\/p>\n

The throbbing it must stop
\nPlease oh toofer of mine.
\nuh…I don’t know how to end this.
\nDamn medication. I won’t even remember I wrote this tomorrow.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ode to my tooth: Toofer, please do not hurt anymore. I have taken advantage of you. I have treated you like a whore. I promise to brush and keep you all clean. I will floss all the junk and remove all that is green. Oh toof of mine, stop hurting my head the pounding is making me twitch and I wish I were dead. The throbbing it must stop Please oh toofer of mine. uh…I don’t know how to end this. Damn medication. I won’t even remember I wrote this tomorrow.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1494","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1494"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1494"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1494"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1494"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}