Dear Mom,<\/p>\n
I’m sorry for all those times I would pick up the book you were reading and read ahead about 10 pages past where you were…and then told you what happened.<\/p>\n
I’m sorry for the time you were going on vacation and I took the book out of your suitcase because since I had read 10 pages past where you were, I got hooked into the storyline and there was NO way I was letting you leave for a week with that book.<\/p>\n
I’m sorry for all the time I promised you “I WILL” when you asked me to do dishes…and I never did.<\/p>\n
I’m sorry I never stayed grounded for more than 5 minutes.<\/p>\n
I’m sorry for stealing your favorite shoes and wearing them out. I’m even more sorry that I called you a dork for wearing those exact shoes about a month before I stole them.<\/p>\n
I’m especially sorry for the time I took your eyeliner and never put it back and that forced you go to out and buy a new eyeliner, which of course I stole that one too.
\nI’m really super sorry for you having to use a Sharpie Pen for eyeliner because you didn’t have enough time to go get more eyeliner because you had an interview at a potential job in an hour…OH WAIT THAT’S ME!<\/p>\n
Mom, You fucking cursed me with all these girls! YOUR REVENGE IS SWEET, DEAR MOTHER!<\/p>\n
I gotta go, I have to figure out where the HELL THEY HID MY FAVORITE BRUSH!<\/p>\n
Stop laughing mother, I’m sending all four girls to YOUR house for the summer!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Mom, I’m sorry for all those times I would pick up the book you were reading and read ahead about 10 pages past where you were…and then told you what happened. I’m sorry for the time you were going on vacation and I took the book out of your suitcase because since I had read 10 pages past where you were, I got hooked into the storyline and there was NO way I was letting you leave for a week with that book. I’m sorry for all the time I promised you “I WILL” when you asked me to do dishes…and I never did. I’m sorry I never stayed grounded for more than 5 minutes. I’m sorry for stealing your favorite shoes and wearing them out. I’m even more sorry that I called you a dork for wearing those exact shoes about a month before I stole them. I’m especially sorry for the time I took your eyeliner and never put it back and that forced you go to out and buy a new eyeliner, which of course I stole that one too. I’m really super sorry for you having to use a Sharpie Pen for eyeliner because you didn’t have enough time to go get more eyeliner because you had an interview at a potential job in an hour…OH WAIT THAT’S ME! Mom, You fucking cursed me with all these girls! YOUR REVENGE IS SWEET, DEAR MOTHER! I gotta go, I have to figure out where the HELL THEY HID MY FAVORITE BRUSH! Stop laughing mother, I’m sending all four girls to YOUR house for the summer!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-137","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=137"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=137"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=137"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=137"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}