{"id":1214,"date":"2006-10-25T12:44:40","date_gmt":"2006-10-25T19:44:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=1214"},"modified":"2006-10-25T17:18:49","modified_gmt":"2006-10-26T00:18:49","slug":"horse-pills","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/?p=1214","title":{"rendered":"Horse Pills &#8212; UPDATED!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Kara and Marina are both home sick today.<\/p>\n<p>Last night Kara came in complaining of a tummy ache and I told her to go take some tums.  She must have been really feeling like hell because she made it to the couch and just decided to get a better reaction if she moaned and cried loudly.<\/p>\n<p>I sat on the couch with her and asked her if she took the Tums and she said no. I went in and got her two and put one in her mouth.  Her eyes got all big and  I told her &#8220;just chew them up.&#8221;<br \/>\nShe went through the whole &#8216;gagging&#8217; process and begging for water.<\/p>\n<p>After she had managed to gag through two Tums and drank a bunch of water to get the chalk out of her mouth, I asked her, &#8220;Kara, you act like you&#8217;ve never had a Tums before.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>She then tells me, &#8220;Well, I didn&#8217;t normally chew them up.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The horror of all the times she had taken a Tums for a tummy ache came to mind, &#8220;You what? you just swallowed them?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>With a pained look on her face she said, &#8220;Yeah, it hurt a little, but it wasn&#8217;t so bad.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I went and told Shaun and showed him the size of the big ass Tums. &#8220;Shaun, I am thee worst parent EVER! I never told her to chew them up!!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Normally I would disagree about you being the worst parent&#8230;&#8221; and then he looked at the Tums and giggled. &#8220;Yeah, gotta agree with you on that one.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Sorry Kara. Mommy sucks.<\/p>\n<p>****UPDATED*****<\/p>\n<p>I called Shaun to have him pick up some of the chewable Rolaids. When he brought it home I took it to Kara and unwrapped it.<br \/>\n&#8220;This is the kind you chew, but it&#8217;s not like the other kind. It&#8217;s not all chalky and hard.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;It smells funny, smell it.&#8221; She shoves it back at me.<br \/>\n&#8220;It smells like Bubble Gum! Just chew on it.&#8221;<br \/>\nShe puts it in her mouth and is a bit leary and doing the whole &#8216;gaggy&#8217; face.<\/p>\n<p>Satisfied I had redeemed myself I went into the kitchen and about 5 minutes later I hear Kara yell out, &#8220;Am I sposta swallow this?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I just about died.\u00a0 Shaun yelled, &#8220;Yes, Kara! It&#8217;s like a Starburst. You just chew on it and swallow it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I threw my hands up, &#8220;YES! Like a Starburst, not like gum. I should have said that!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Shaun just laughed at me.<\/p>\n<p>Whatever, She&#8217;s the bright child that swallowed a huge Tums and then the next day wouldn&#8217;t swallow the chewable kind I gave her.\u00a0\u00a0 SHUT UP MOTHER.\u00a0 I swear I can hear my mother saying something about an apple not falling far from the tree.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kara and Marina are both home sick today. Last night Kara came in complaining of a tummy ache and I told her to go take some tums. She must have been really feeling like hell because she made it to the couch and just decided to get a better reaction if she moaned and cried loudly. I sat on the couch with her and asked her if she took the Tums and she said no. I went in and got her two and put one in her mouth. Her eyes got all big and I told her &#8220;just chew them up.&#8221; She went through the whole &#8216;gagging&#8217; process and begging for water. After she had managed to gag through two Tums and drank a bunch of water to get the chalk out of her mouth, I asked her, &#8220;Kara, you act like you&#8217;ve never had a Tums before.&#8221; She then tells me, &#8220;Well, I didn&#8217;t normally chew them up.&#8221; The horror of all the times she had taken a Tums for a tummy ache came to mind, &#8220;You what? you just swallowed them?&#8221; With a pained look on her face she said, &#8220;Yeah, it hurt a little, but it wasn&#8217;t so bad.&#8221; I went and told Shaun and showed him the size of the big ass Tums. &#8220;Shaun, I am thee worst parent EVER! I never told her to chew them up!!&#8221; &#8220;Normally I would disagree about you being the worst parent&#8230;&#8221; and then he looked at the Tums and giggled. &#8220;Yeah, gotta agree with you on that one.&#8221; Sorry Kara. Mommy sucks. ****UPDATED***** I called Shaun to have him pick up some of the chewable Rolaids. When he brought it home I took it to Kara and unwrapped it. &#8220;This is the kind you chew, but it&#8217;s not like the other kind. It&#8217;s not all chalky and hard.&#8221; &#8220;It smells funny, smell it.&#8221; She shoves it back at me. &#8220;It smells like Bubble Gum! Just chew on it.&#8221; She puts it in her mouth and is a bit leary and doing the whole &#8216;gaggy&#8217; face. Satisfied I had redeemed myself I went into the kitchen and about 5 minutes later I hear Kara yell out, &#8220;Am I sposta swallow this?&#8221; I just about died.\u00a0 Shaun yelled, &#8220;Yes, Kara! It&#8217;s like a Starburst. You just chew on it and swallow it.&#8221; I threw my hands up, &#8220;YES! Like a Starburst, not like gum. I should have said that!&#8221; Shaun just laughed at me. Whatever, She&#8217;s the bright child that swallowed a huge Tums and then the next day wouldn&#8217;t swallow the chewable kind I gave her.\u00a0\u00a0 SHUT UP MOTHER.\u00a0 I swear I can hear my mother saying something about an apple not falling far from the tree.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1214","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1214","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1214"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1214\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1214"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1214"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/randomandodd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1214"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}