Random and Odd

You want more? I’ll make it….


Oh how I wish I could say I was a Holiday type of person. I think since the Incredible Hulk skates mix up when I was child that I don’t have it in me anymore.
I got an invite to bail out on Christmas morning madness and I actually considered it. Hell, I am still considering it.

My sister is the glue of our family and when I put my fingers in my ears and start saying, “lalalalalala-i can’t hear you-lalalalalala” there is a good chance that I am going to get in trouble. She hasn’t given me the “Yes, we are coming down for Christmas.” so I am looking for just about any reason to not celebrate. I got a tree earlier than I normally do because I could see this was not going to be a good year for me. It’s been sitting in my new living room without a single thing on it for a week. The only reason I put the lights on it the other day was because I felt bad for the tree.
Every time I walked by he would say, “It wasn’t enough I was cut down, tied up and thrown in the back of a truck like a refugee on the run and then SOLD FOR TEN BUCKS, but you won’t even trim me up and decorate me? YOU SUCK WOMAN! SUCKITY SUCK SUCK!”

You have lights now, shut the hell up you damn tree!

I can’t even imagine the freedom to be able to say, “Hey, i’m going to do this, not feel guilty about it. “
It’s a “Hold my beer and watch this…” famous last words moment. I would NEVER live it down.
“Remember that year you bailed on Christmas?”
Ohhhh, but the thought of laughing all day and not worried about if I got enough, the food is good, is it enough…have I given ENOUGH???
Ever feel like you give all you have and there is always someone that looks at you like you didn’t do enough? I do. Why do I even give a flying fuck? Because he is the other 50% of my children’s memories growing up and his words have impact on the way they look at me.

I did actually call and tell him I was going to have the girls on Christmas Eve and he could have them Christmas morning.
I rendered him speechless.

I wonder what would win out in my memories later in life? the guilt trip I got or the laughter I had that day?

I'm a lot of things, but mostly I'm just Random and Odd.

3 Comments

  • justme

    I am right there with you this year! I did decorate however but, only because my daughter kept bugging me to do it. Then she actually had the nerve to bail in the middle of it!
    So I am decorated wondering if there will be a Christmas come the actual day. Ba humbug.
    No really, decorate, you will feel a smidgen better!

  • justme

    I know the feeling! My kids keep doing the count down everyday and I just cringe. They are old enough to know that money is tight. But still, it kills the spirit!