Random and Odd

Oh the blessings…

Happy Thanksgiving!

How fantastic was it to not wake up to an alarm this morning? Amazing!!
How awesome is the cup of coffee I am enjoying from my bed on my NOT work computer? HEAVEN!

Alyx is with a friend down south this week. It took a act of God for both Dan and I to agree to let her go because to both of us, she’s still just 5 years old and never too far from either one of us.  In a little over a month she turns 14 and it’s just not easy to wrap my mind around that. I am thankful that she’s a smart, funny and responsible girl that we can trust.

Shea and Kara are sleeping in like they have this whole break.  Kara actually crawled out of bed at 3pm the other day. Damn, I sort of miss those days when laying in bed all day wasn’t a treat, but a weekend requirement.  Now I get up at 5:30 every morning and drive an hour in traffic.

Everyone on Facebook has been talking about what they are thankful for for Thanksgiving.  Family, Friends, Health. Those are the staple things I have been reading.  I am thankful for all those things too, but I think the really things tend to get forgotten and so I am taking my little things and writing about them here.

1. I am thankful for my car. Yes, it’s old as hell without a single bell or whistle, but it gets me from point A to point B.  Would I love a newer car? yes, I would, but I am thankful for what I have today.

2. For the woman who gave me a shot and allowed me to move into her home as a renter.  Having lost my home this year was heartbreaking and I swore I was going to end up in a tiny apartment, but someone heard my story and trusted that I would treat her house as a home and take care of it. I will not let her down.

3. The school system my kids are in.  I don’t think they get enough credit for all that they do. The teachers that take their lives and dedicate it to making sure that our children will not fail.

4. My amazingly comfortable bed. Sometimes I sink my face into the feather down goodness of it and say, “thank you..I love you!” It’s not until you sleep in somewhere else that you realize how you and your bed have a special relationship.

5. My memories. Sometimes they are mean to me, but for the most part, I have some great memories and recently I found out how vivid a memory can be that you can actually remember what someone feels or smells like.

6. Those rare moments when Kara and Shea get along and realize they have more in common than they thought. Those moments where Kara realizes how much her little sisters look up to her and relish every moment she is nice to them. I am blessed that my girls do love each other, stick up for each other when it counts and keep each other out of trouble.

7. My ex’s.  Let’s start with Dan. Does he piss me the fuck off on a daily basis? YES he does. He also loves his daughters and as much as he hates to admit it, he loves me too.  I am the mother of his children and he knows what I do is for them and though there isn’t a chance in hell we will ever be together again, he there if my car breaks down, needs air in the tires, the smoke alarm batteries are chirping, the garbage disposal gets clogged or I need to have a mental break down…he is there. Next Shaun…there are two things I am grateful for; 1. He left. 2. He left me with Tabitha, Jeremiah and Marina.
and last the best Ex of all: Tabitha.  Our friendship which is like a sisterhood started out great, got rocky, got ugly, got hateful, got beautiful, got hateful again and now…through all that we have been through is something I am PROUD of. She has turned out to be a better friend than all those people that were a part of my life and helped me bash her and call her names. No, i’m not proud of that, but I think that it just had to happen to get us to where we are now. I’m sure everyone of her friends have wonderful stories of the things she said about me too. :)  We have gotten past that and when I don’t hear from her on a daily basis, I actually MISS her.

8. My blog.  Ups and downs this poor thing has been through huh? The fact that I still get comments and emails from you all is truly amazing!  The fact that so many followed me to Facebook and our friendship have blossomed is shocking. I love it.

9. My bathtub.  After my fall down the stairs where at the bottom I looked like a homicide victim, I still ended up going to the gym with a jacked up knee and shoulder that I am pretty sure is dislocated…that amazing bath took nearly all the pains away.  Not all…this shoulder hurts like hell!

10.  Entertainment.  I remember after a tearful conversation a year ago when I had poured out all the things I needed to say…I turned on the TV to get my head somewhere else and I turned on Chuck.  30 short minutes later I was cracking up. I had said my final goodbyes to my husband through tears…and 30 minutes later I’m laughing at a TV show?  It sounds heartless, but it showed me that I would laugh again…oh how much laughter have I had in the last 19 months? SO MANY!  Music has moved me into action and pulled me from sadness and helped fuel anger to push me forward.  Rocky Horror  Picture Show brought down a wall with my daughter and allowed her to accept a friendship she wouldn’t allow.  The Biggest Loser has shown me that I can push, push, push myself.

So there it is. My crazy list of things I am thankful this year :)

I'm a lot of things, but mostly I'm just Random and Odd.


  • justme

    I am grateful you are back here! i was panicking because I had to sign on to facebook and its just not the same as the blog thing!

  • Kristine

    It was a tough decision if I wanted to bring it back or not. I needed a break. I even closed down facebook and flickr.
    I open up on Facebook, but I don’t share as much as I do here.
    Glad I have a place to put it all out there and purge it.

  • Tabitha Baland

    Well mama, the feeling is very mutual. Not seeing you or hearing your voice makes me a sad bear. Then it reminds me of all I am having to leave behind. Wait theres Rina and you/the kiddos.. Time is ticking away, and I am completely uncertain of what our future holds. EXCEPT that it has to be better then the one I was leaving myself with. I am truly thankful for YOU my sissy. I love and adore you, nothing will change that! We have come a longggggg way baby! xoxoxoxox

  • Kristine

    Well you better always answer that phone because you never know when *I* might catch a case for snapping some dumb bitch that won’t keep her mouth shut and better think twice about feeling comfortable…just sayin’.