Random and Odd

I’m a mom.

Shea stayed home from school today. She had spent the night with Dan last night and when he dropped her off he said, “She didn’t eat breakfast. Said her tummy hurt.”

The other day, Alyx stayed home because her allergies were too much for her to handle.

I didn’t mind it too much because I haven’t been able to sleep in over a week. Staying up until 5 am has been killing my system and making me want to sleep all day.

Liz is going to see her mom in Alabama so I drove her to the airport.  Thinking Shea was going to be fine, I drug her along with me.  I even picked Alyx up early so she could say goodbye to Taylor ( HER baby girl)

On the way home, Shea did this whole, “OH GOD, IT HURTS!” I believed her. She is quite the dramatic one, but this looked pretty convincing.
Then from out of nowhere Shea projectile vomited all over the front of the car.
In the middle of each spurt she apologized for throwing up all over the place.
“It’s okay baby, we are almost home.”
More vomiting.
About 5 miles down the road I hear from the backseat, “OH NO! I CAN SMELL IT!”  I’m thinking, ‘wonderful. sympathy vomit coming from the back seat.’

We made it almost home when I decided to detour to Dan’s house.  Yeah. He can handle the barf in his driveway better than I could.

I hosed out the car, chanting to myself; ‘I can do this. This isn’t that bad. Not toooo bad at all. I can do this. I gave birth to them, I have changed diapers. I can do this.’

Shea walked out and let out a big ol’ dramatic sigh. “Whoa, glad that’s over.”

Yeah, it’s over kid. But when I’m in my 70’s I am going to barf all over the front of her minivan as revenge.  I will then look at her with the most adorable eyes and say, “Can I have chocolate ice cream now?”

I'm a lot of things, but mostly I'm just Random and Odd.

18 Comments

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    I once barfed all over my parents car, except I tried to cover my mouth which sent particles flying through my fingers and then every where else. And we were 2 miles into our drive to FL. And we had bombed the house for ants. I think my parents were unhappy, especially since I sat in back and they were cleaning the windshield. And you are better than me because I would not have been cleaning that up. I dry heave at the sound or sight or smell of vomit. ICK

  • Just a girl

    I would be out buying a new car today…I can’t do vomit.

    I did however have to clean it up after similar projectile vomiting after a night of four horseman shots when I was 22.

    Hope you get to feeling better Shea.

  • jana

    This just happened to me last week. Twice. Two kids. The 7-year-old’s was worse though. And we’ll be leaving soon to drive 15 hours to go to Disney. Woo hoo!

  • Kelly

    Gagging at the thought of the smell! Ugh! Yep, I think vomit is the worst duty a Mother can do… but yes, it has to be done! Poor baby girl, I hope she is feeling better!

  • traci

    I always had to plug my nose when cleaning up the vomit. Ugh. I get dry heaves just thinking about it now. Yea, it’s sad that I have an overdeveloped gag reflex. You did good Mommy. Poor Shea. Hope it’s really over now. : )

  • WaywardGoddess

    It seems to be making it’s rounds. My oldest turned 13 last week. He had 3 of his friends spend the night on Saturday. Sunday morning, one of the boys called his mom to pick him up early. He said he just didn’t feel well. Monday afternoon I get a call from my oldest’s school. He says he is sick and needs to come home. I pick him up and he spends the night throwing up. He stays home on Tuesday. Meanwhile, Tuesday afternoon I get a call from the school again. This time it’s my 11 yr old that is throwing up I go and pick her up. She didn’t make it home before I saw her retching. I was able to pull over and let her barf on the side of the road. Good times. She spent today at home. I’m fully expecting my 7 yr old to be throwing up tomorrow.

    My oldest’s friend’s mom is a teacher at the school. I saw her today and she said “I’m so sorry my son got your whole house sick”. Whaddaya gonna do?

  • shelli

    omg i love your stories. poor girl, it’s horrible to throw up. Kerrin gets so much anxiety about throwing up if she gets a really nautious stomach. i keep tellin her she’s gonna make herself throw up. she dont’ get it.

    The dog my ex fiance and I owned got carsick everytime we took her in the damn thing, so much so that we had to lay down platic to put he back there just for the vet ride and starve her for 4 days prior. NOT MUCH WORSE THAN THE SMELL OF VOMIT CURDLING IN THE BACKSEAT while driving. Makes you want to drive into the nearest stonewall!

    Dogs gorgeous…by the way. BUt i must say, only out west would someone name their dog something like that. Pffft..and you thought Panda was gay?
    bhahaahahh

  • kianna

    it couldnt have been worse than when we went 2 the lake and she drank blue kool aid and puked a huge amount of nasty blue puke

  • Kim

    At least you can remind your dtr of this incident. Our 95lb doberman had a Jeff Daniels Dumb and Dumber
    bathroom moment in the back of our SUV half way through a 9hour drive to visit family. Talk about
    disgusting!!