Anxiety,  kara

Yeesh.

I had a super long, never ending conversation with my daughter tonight. I informed her that I was quitting my medication on Sunday. She freaked out on me.
“Mom, you can’t just quit ‘cold turkey’!! You’ll get really sick!”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”
“Mom, Please call your doctor and find out if it’s safe for you to quit like that. I know it’s not.”
“OK..MOM!”
“Mom, I’m not kidding. It’s not healthy to quit like that. It’s bad for you. You need to come off it slowly.”
“Kara, seriously. I will be fine.”
“CALL YOUR DOCTOR FIRST!”

While in the middle of a debate with my FOURTEEN year old daughter about if I can quit my medication, I decided to show her a little something about being older and wiser. I decided to throw a little internet knowledge IN HER FACE. I googled cold turkey celexa. Guess what? The little shit is right.

“Whoa…I could have seizures!”
“I told you Mom, you have to go slowly. Call your doctor first.”

I got my ass handed to me by a KID.

Guess what I will be doing on Monday? Yep, going to the doctor to SAFELY remove the drug from my system. I’m sort of afraid because from what I was reading…you don’t realize how much it works until you go off of it and you become a raging bitch.
I mean, I could TOTALLY handle being a raging bitch. I haven’t seen that side of me since the early 90’s. It’s only been less than a year that I have been on the medication so maybe I will be able to come back as less of a bitch? maybe? Who knows. I just feel sorry for those around me. They are going to get THEIR asses handed to them when they don’t walk the line.

I actually have a list of things I am going to make sure get done when I kick the anxiety bullshit;

1. THIS IS NUMBER ONE…UNO…MOST IMPORTANT — Get my damn lawn sprinklers working in the front yard and then tear it out and put in sod. If I have to figure out how to do it all by my damn self, I will do it. That fire in my belly is going to get me a new lawn!

2. Repaint my laundry room — I mean really, Dan…ORANGE? Why would you paint the laundry room the color of the burning sun?

3. Replace my windshield — Actually that really should be number one because after I get off the anxiety medication the fear of the windshield shattering in on me while I am driving isn’t going to sit well.

4. Finish the hall bathroom. Touch up, just doesn’t cover it.

5. Steam clean the living room…TWICE.

6. Get the back patio cover to not lean 4 feet to the right. Again…Dan…really. Reinforcements would have been nice.

7. Locate my waistline.

8. Ohana is back.

9. Out with the toxic people, In with the good.

10. Figure out what the big rage is about Zack Effron.

Now, you are asking yourself…why doesn’t she just do that stuff now, while ON the medication? Good question, and thanks for asking, caller. See right now, I DON’T REALLY GIVE A SHIT. I don’t really care enough to pester people about fixing the lawn or the bathroom. I don’t care that the living room smells like a dog kennel or that at any point, a brisk wind can and will knock over my whole patio cover. JUST DON’T CARE. One of the joys of medications is that when things that would normally happen that would cause you to stand up and say, “NO MORE” you just wave it off as if it were a pesky fly trying to land on your burger.
“Don’t bother me, I’m busing not stressing out.”

That there is my list. I’ve got a million lists going on right now actually. Mostly in my head, which makes for an awkward moment when I need to cross something off.
I’m writing more stuff down to get them in order.
AND that reminds me. Principle and Interest…that is some fucked up stuff right there. Go look at your bills. GO, I’ll wait. Look at the amount that is paid toward the PRINCIPLE. ZILTCH. What in tar-nations is that about? Someone needs to do something about that. It ain’t going to be me though, because really…I do not have the man power.

What’s on your list? (ha ha, I felt like that commercial, ‘what’s in YOUR wallet) forgive me, I’m 48 hours xanax free and feeling a bit loopy.

I'm a lot of things, but mostly I'm just Random and Odd.

25 Comments

  • Kathy

    Is this SPF in disguise? I’m thinking that’s harder to go cold turkey on than xanax! : )
    What you’re saying, sounds to me, is “Don’t sweat the small stuff”. Febreeze it away… living room odor, bill collectors and annoying folks have a lot in common.
    I do have a list… but do i want ya’ll to know it? Maybe another glass of wine will decide.

  • randomandodd

    Kathy: Share it!! I’m Febreezing the hell out of my life!! I almost attacked the ice cream man with it today! How dare he try to charge me 2 bucks for a ChocoTaco!

    Kara: Brat, I told you to go to bed!

  • Kami

    I LOVE KARA!!!

    Raging bitch, okay.

    Seizures, not okay.

    Thanks, Kara.

    My list is a mile long. Maybe I’ll do it on my blog one day.

  • kimmyk

    yep kara was right. take it slow. celexa is a wicked drug. highly addictive.

    dan needs his ass kicked dontcha think?
    men. sheesh.

    my list?
    paint the livingroom.
    paint the bathroom.
    paint abbie’s bedroom.

    i could go on but it’s depressing me. maybe i should take the celexa you’re not gonna take then?

  • Christie

    good luck- and Kara’s right. You could have a major psychotic break down if you quit cold turkey.
    You can get off it- you just need to lower the dosage little by little. :)

  • Army of Mom

    Yeah, she is right and I was about to give you a laundry list of what could happen when I finished reading your post. My mom is on meds and she has stopped a few times and when she did, the psychosis was WORST until she got regulated again. *shrug* Good luck with it all … she, like the rest of us, just want you to be healthy and happy.

  • MrsDoF

    My memory of being 4th grade spelling champion raised up and got bothered by Principle in context with a loan.
    It should be (as copied from Answers.com)
    Principal: The amount borrowed or the amount still owed on a loan, separate from interest.

    Otherwise, my days are humming along okay.
    I have 6 feet more of floor space to clear up in the study, then we go shopping for exercise machines.
    Which means, I suppose, that I would like to wear size 10 jeans again.
    Which ain’t so easy as changing the color of the paint on the walls of the laundry room.

    Your list looks doable. It may not be done until you have an empty nest, but life is just one damn thing after another, and then you die.

  • dashababy

    I love your list. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whats on my list? Hmmm, I would say trying to convince my sister she needs to move out of the big city and near her aging sister.
    I called you last night but you dint answer. Call me tonight, k?
    Love you xoxoxox

  • Moi

    My list (at the moment) consists of me trying NOT to kill the kids before school starts. I really don’t need people coming around asking why the kids have mysteriously taken a sabbatical from education when they are 6 & 4.

    I don’t need those people around because they will see the rest of my list: undoing all the weird crap the previous homeowners did to this house. I think I will post it as a FUG Thursday next week. There are crooked stripes in awful colors on the laundry room wall, people! It will make Kami cry.

  • Kristie

    Kara IS RIGHT!! I’m glad you listened to her. Getting of off meds, just stopping, is a BIG-NO NO! Mental meds gradually get into your system in the first place, therefore, need to gradually get out. It’s a shock to your system if you just go ‘cold turkey’ and can have dangerous results. Your doc will have you slowly reduce your dosage till it’s ok to be off completely but I’m sure will try and talk you into staying on them. You may find out the meds were helping and need to go back on them…time will tell and only you will know…and it’s OK if you go back. Experience?? Yes, unfortunately…but me & my meds are doing juuuuuuuust fine :o)

  • Katie

    My list:

    Have gal who is going to clean my place come over and check it out / decide on rate and frequency.

    Find clothes that fit and a bathing suit for vacation.

    Don’t kill anyone at work tonight.

  • chris

    Oh, Celexa huh? I took myself off it 3 weeks ago. It wasn’t helping with my anxiety or depression. Raging bitch? Ummm, yes, that’s me lately. But if it wasn’t helping me why continue to take it? And it’s not like the things I’m being cranky about didn’t bother me 2 months ago while on Celexa, they did, but I was so loopy I couldn’t verbalize how I felt or was so out of it it didn’t matter anymore. On the good side, I’m still having bouts of nausea which in turn is making me lose some of the weight I put on during my stupor on these legalized meds.

  • Heather

    Good luck with getting off your meds, Christine. I can definitely see the appeal of the “cold turkey” method, but then again, the “gradual” method does seem safer. Either way, just take care of yourself and put yourself first. Oh, and good luck with your list..and please, if you figure out the Zack Effron thing, please let me know as it is on my list too!

    And speaking of lists..this one might make you feel a little bit better about yours. I’m 7 months pregnant and have absolutely nothing done that needs to be done before the baby arrives. I need a crib, baby clothes, whatever else a baby will use in the immediate future..crap, a nursery. ANd don’t even get me started about how the baby is actually going to get here! I realize that millions of women before me have managed it but the thought still freaks me out! Yeah, I’m a good time!

  • gypsygrrl

    kristine,

    i am SO GLAD you have such an amazing daughter who loves you enough to really fight with you… i was going to email you today about at least a call to the doc regarding stopping the medications cold turkey (even tho i knew you wouldnt really listen to a gypsy from the east coast)

    seizures are the least of the effects ~ also kidney or liver damage that wont resolve. wicked wicked side effects… give kara a big hug from this future nurse and former medicine aide for keeping you safe!

    (((((kristine))))) you are an inspiration… thank you for sharing so much with us!

    love ya chickee!

  • tommiea

    I have a notebook of lists….one for each area of my life. most of it is easy daily stuff, others not so much.

    Yeah for kara….you have a great kid there!

  • Leane

    I need to keep reading you Kristine for encouragement. This is the moment when I thought I’d be NEEDING xanax..(this fall with lots of changes going on, and I’m already a generalized anxiety person -just non medicated now). I want to keep going without needing meds. So I just keep pushing through..but reading you helps me feel better about it!!

  • Mandy

    Glad you listened to the little one. Cold turkey is painful, horrible and, in my case, made me suicidal.
    The next meds I had to stop, I did under VERY close supervision and the transition, although still hard, did not make me want to drive into a tree!
    All the best to you!

  • heather

    as i sit here and read…
    i can’t help but wonder at the ever so slight and ever so fucking huge shift in your words…

    it’s hope.

    hope leads to the want and then the power,..
    and that’s how we get places i guess.
    as in to a lawn…
    and better at math..
    just better.

    welcome back : }

    oh and that list…
    those things don’t sound like the things you do after you detox/come to…
    they sound to me like the things you do TO detox and come to.
    especially the painting!!! lol
    which leads to the waistline… bla bla bla.
    try working on ANYTHING on that list..
    for just 15 minutes at a time..
    once a day…
    do more later,..
    but start with just once.

    you will look up in a few weeks..
    and see right there the progress and pride and acomplishment (sp? lol)..
    which feed the hope
    AND sometimes helps make these fears
    seem much more beatable.
    and then we make another list. lol

  • Michelle

    I am so so glad that your daughter got you to see the light I was worried about you going cold turkey when you posted that, but did not want to be a bysbody – ya know. I am glad you will be going to the doc to chat with him.